Days In Life
by NintendoGal55
Summary: Ren and Stimpy's lives together from the time Ren raised him, to when Stimpy became an adult, and to when they soon became lovers.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, folks! Well, lately, I've been binge-watching** _ **The Ren & Stimpy**_ **show, and I've definitely come to love it. :D And I'm now a Rempy shipper. XD**

 **Anyhoo, so this is also adapting the headcanon of ben-the-hyena, a user on Tumblr and deviantART. Ren and Stimpy met when they were 23 and 11 respectively, Ren raised him, and then fell in love with him upon Stimpy's adulthood.**

 **So, this little three-parter (plus a bonus!) is detailing some elements of their life together and eventually leading up to when they become lovers. :D Enjoy!**

~10 & 22~

Taking in little Stimpy was probably one of the most interesting experiences of his life. Oh yes, the little cat was definitely stupid. That much Ren could see. He was slow, dimwitted, incredibly naive, and oblivious to a lot of things. It was beginning to make more and more sense as to why his parents abandoned him.

Yet, Ren still wanted to punch those idiots in the face for that. Stimpy may have been stupid, but he was the sweetest, most loving kid he'd ever met. How could anyone have wanted to dump off the poor kid? Even on his worst days, Ren never failed to feel a sense of warmth and pride whenever he put the little cat to bed for the night. He did make the right choice.

Having Stimpy around definitely made things, in a way, so much brighter. In ways he never expected. Stimpy liked to laugh, share silly ideas and stories, play around, and anything else that could amuse him. Oh sure, he made messes and sometimes ended up breaking things... but Ren never stayed mad at him for long.

On this particular morning, Ren was having a great dream. A perfect dream. He was out on a beach, laying on a towel and enjoying the sun. With a happy sigh, he adjusted his sunglasses and stretched out his hind legs. Then came a beautiful sight. A gorgeous blonde woman with incredible curves and a sultry smile. She sat down beside his towel, speaking to him.

"Ren! Ren, it's time to get up! Come on!" She exclaimed, suddenly grinning childishly. She reached down and shook his shoulders.

"Waaaaah! Let me go!" Ren cried, squirming and trying to free himself. This caused him to wake up, finding that he was at home. In bed. With an overly excited Stimpy sitting on top of him and shaking his shoulders. "Agh! Steempy, get off me!"

"Oh good, you're awake!" Stimpy grinned, obliging as he hopped off the chihuahua and onto the floor. "I'm so glad you're awake, Ren! We're gonna have so much fun today!"

Ren blinked his bleary eyes, then sat up and rubbed the sleep from them. If there was one thing he missed about being a bachelor, it was being able to sleep as long as he wanted to. He sighed, looking down at his ward with annoyance, "What do you want, Steempy? I was trying to sleep!"

"I know, but I had to get you up and ready!" Stimpy said, grabbing him by the hand and pulling him out of bed. "Come on! I made you a special breakfast!"

For a kid, especially one of his stupidity, Stimpy was a surprisingly good cook. Ren couldn't help adhering to the fact that his stomach was now demanding some food. He sighed, following the small cat out of the room, "All right, all right! I'm comeeng."

"Oh, joy!" Stimpy said excitedly, leading the way to the kitchen.

Once there, Ren was surprised to find that a whole plethora of food was set out on the table. Pancakes, bacon, toast, eggs, and some sliced bananas. Usually breakfast was simple, which suited him fine. Big ones like this were only on special occasions. But what was so special about today? Ren wasn't even sure.

Even the mess around the counters and sink didn't deter from the image. Ren looked at Stimpy, who was smiling up at him with his hands behind his back. So innocent.

"So... what's all dis, Steempy?" Ren asked, pointing to the table.

"What do you mean, Ren? Did you forget that today was your birthday?" Stimpy giggled.

Eyes going wide, Ren darted over to look at the calendar on the nearby wall. Sure enough, the date was his birthday. He hadn't marked it, but the date stood out regardless. Ears going flat, Ren smiled sheepishly as he turned back to his ward.

"Heh heh... what do you know, eet ees!" Ren chuckled, going back over to the table, "Wait, you remembered?"

"Of course I did!" Stimpy smiled, bringing over a pitcher of orange juice to the table. "Why wouldn't I remember?"

"...I only told you once," Ren said, sitting down now. "And I wasn't even theenking when I said eet."

Stimpy giggled, sitting down as well and pouring them some juice, "Well, I remembered! I reminded myself every single day! And since it's the first birthday you're having since you took me in, I wanted to make it special!"

Shaking his head in amusement, Ren started to eat. Stimpy was way too giving. It was almost astounding to see this kind of behaviour from someone. To just give somebody they care about something nice and expect nothing in return. It was hard to get into that mentality, but he had to admire Stimpy for it.

"Um, Ren?"

Looking up, Ren wiped his mouth and set his fork down, "What ees eet, Steempy?"

"Could I... have five bucks to go buy you a cake?" Stimpy asked hopefully, giving a coy smile.

Blinking a few times, Ren tilted his head, "But why? I could just go get eet myself."

"I know, but... I want to surprise you with it!" Stimpy said, squirming in his seat a little bit, "Please?"

Sighing, Ren rolled his eyes and then reached into his pocket, placing a five dollar bill on the table. "Fiiiine. But don't be gone too long! I can't have you getting lost again."

"Yes sir, Ren!" Stimpy gave him a salute, then took the money and tucked it away in his fur. "Soooo, how old are ya, _old man_?"

Snorting a bit, Ren shrugged as he continued to eat, "Twenty-two now."

"Really? That's cool! I'm only ten! So that makes you a lot of years older than me!" Stimpy proceeded to count on his fingers, "Uh... one... two... three..."

Rolling his eyes, Ren sighed and looked at him, "De answer's eeleven, Steempy."

"Ohhh, okay!" Stimpy giggled, getting back to eating as well. He hummed happily while doing so, bobbing a bit in his chair to the tune. "So Ren, what do you want to do for your birthday? Whatever it is you want to do, we'll do it!"

This made Ren grin as he considered the possibilities. Going out to a bar or strip club had been his usual way of having fun on this day. Or heck, just going down to the beach to look at beautiful girls was a great option as well. He glanced at Stimpy, then deflated slightly.

Doing all of that was out of the question. He had a kid to raise. Anything he was to do today had to be kid-friendly. So what was he _supposed_ to do? Dropping him off at his mother's wasn't going to help, either. Stimpy seemed completely intent on spending the day with him. As much as Ren was perfectly fine with dropping him off, he had a feeling Stimpy wouldn't be too happy. He had to suck it up and figure out what they could do together.

"I'm not sure, Steempy," Ren admitted with a mild shrug, "I never had to do eet like dis before. Eh, I'll feegure eet out."

"Okay, Ren!" Stimpy bounced happily, giving a giggle.

After breakfast, Ren figured he could probably get inspiration if they went out for a walk. Stimpy happily agreed to this, practically dragging him out the door. Despite his protests, Ren allowed the little cat to pull him outside. It was a nice sunny spring day, just the kind of day for this sort of thing.

As Ren walked along, occasionally fixing his jacket, his eyes scoped around the people they passed. Sure enough, some pretty women were passing the duo by. Ren gave wolf whistles and winks to a lot of them, most of which were met with ignoring or scorn.

Making sure his ward wasn't watching, Ren smirked and walked under the skirts of a couple women standing nearby. In moments like this, he definitely had to admit that being so small was a good thing.

' _Lovely ladies... I'll have to feegure a way to get dem home weethout Steempy seeing eet...'_ Ren thought.

Looking up, he came across a woman standing near a storefront, looking at the produce. Bingo. He licked his lips, then turned to Stimpy.

"All right Steempy, I'm gonna go talk do dat cheeck over dere. Don't do or say anyting stupeed, okay? Just let me do de talking."

Stimpy nodded, giving him a salute, "You got it, Ren!"

"Good," Ren said with relief, heading over toward his target, "Reemember. Quiet as a mouse!"

"...But I'm a cat," Stimpy blinked, looking confused.

Sighing, Ren rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands into his pockets, "Eet was a feegure of speech, eediot."

After a few moments, they reached the woman. To which Ren leaned against the produce rack, shooting her a seductive smirk.

"Well hello dere, meess... Lookin' for something yummy?" He said, giving her a wink.

The woman giggled, smiling down him, "Awww, aren't you adorable!"

Ren faltered for a moment, but realized it was at least a good reaction, "Uh, yes! Cute, dat's me! And you're lovely."

"Oh, thank you!" The woman smiled more, "And what's your name, little doggy?"

"Ren, Ren Hoek, ma'am," Ren bowed to her, giving a debonair smile, "Eef you don't mind my saying-"

"And who's this little cutie?!" Said the woman, picking up Stimpy and scratching his ears, "Awww, he's so cute! Is he yours, Mr. Hoek?"

Stimpy giggled and nuzzled into her hand, very much enjoying the attention. Ren wanted to curl up in a corner and just die. He sighed, rubbing his face and faltering all the more, "Dat's Steempy. He's... well, he's my son."

"Your son?! Oh, wow!" The woman exclaimed, nuzzling Stimpy and then gently setting him down, "That's incredible! You must be quite a proud father!"

Ren blushed, giving a light laugh, "Well... what can I say, I'm daddy of de year!"

"Awww... I just love seeing men taking their sons out! It's so sweet!" The woman giggled, taking a couple of vegetables into her basket, "Well, I have to go pay now! Ta-ta, Mr. Hoek! You too, Stimpy!"

"Bye-bye, lady!" Stimpy waved after her, giggling, "Wow, Ren! She was very nice!"

"Yeah..." Ren said absentmindedly. He paced a little bit, thinking this over. ' _So... women like men weeth children... Aha! Of course! Eet's so obvious! Women like eet when a man is good weeth keeds! Eet's perfect!'_ "Well Steempy, eet looks like you'll be useful after all!"

"Huh? What do you mean, Ren?" Stimpy asked, looking up at him curiously.

"I mean..." Ren knelt down at his level, "You'll be able to help me... get a girl's attention. See, women like to see a man with his keeds, eet makes dem so..." He paused, trying to figure a way to put it.

"Happy?" Stimpy offered.

"Exactly! Happy!" Ren laughed, patting his head, "So, eef you'll help me out... We can go get ice cream."

"Ice cream?! Oh, joy! That sounds great, Ren!" Stimpy happily clapped his hands. "And since it's your birthday, you can pick where we go!"

' _Today really ees my birthday... I'm feeling lucky!'_ Ren thought. He chuckled and continued to walk along, "Awright, den let's get going. We can start at de park."

Stimpy's eyes lit up, his smile growing, "Really?! The park? Joy! We haven't been there in a while!"

Unable to help it, Ren smiled warmly at his ward's enthusiasm. The little cat happily frolicked alongside him, looking like a child on Christmas morning. One would think it was _his_ birthday!

' _You know... maybe I really don't need anyting. Having Stimpy ees de best present I've had een a long time,'_ Ren thought, sighing softly. He then cleared his throat and gathered his thoughts, trying to focus less on the sappy stuff. ' _Damn eet, I'm getting way too mushy...'_

"Hey, Ren?"

"Yeah?"

Stimpy grinned up at him, "Happy Birthday!"

And that was it. It was all he said in that moment. Yet, the grin on his face and the eagerness in his tone was... nice. How was anyone so excited and happy for someone else's birthday? Stimpy was an odd one, for sure. But he was a sweetheart. It was impossible not to appreciate his kind gestures.

Hiding a smile, Ren averted his gaze, "Thanks, leettle buddy."

XXXX

~11 & 22~

"Let's go over eet one more time, Steempy. Who's de peetcher and who's de catcher?"

"Hmmm... Ooh! I know! That's the pitcher, that's the catcher!"

Ren laughed as he turned the flash cards around to show the correct answers, "Dat's correct, Steempy. Maybe you're learning more dan I thought."

"Oh, joy!" Stimpy happily clapped his hands, smiling brightly, "Can we go out and play baseball, Ren? Please?"

"Steempy, we can't play actual baseball! There's only de two of us," Ren said with a light roll of his eyes. Nonetheless, he went over to a nearby box and pulled out a baseball, glove, catcher's mit, and a bat. Winking at his ward, he headed toward the apartment door and grabbed his baseball hat, "But we can go play catch!"

"Yipee!" Stimpy said excitedly, following after him. "I've always wanted to play catch!"

Ren glanced at him as they headed to the stairs, "Haven't you played weeth your dad?"

Stimpy sighed, shaking his head, "Not really... Dad kept saying I kept getting hit in the head with the ball rather than catching it. He didn't even bother teaching me."

Clenching his fists, Ren turned his gaze away and growled under his breath. Whoever Stimpy's parents were, they were certainly lucky right now. Otherwise, he would be pummeling them into next Tuesday. The more he heard about them, the more he hated them.

"Well Steempy, your dad's an asshole," Ren sighed, barely looking at him, "Even eef dey showed up right now, I'd tell dem to go seet on catctuses! Because dey can go f-"

"I think it's cacti, Ren!" Stimpy corrected.

Ren twitched a little, "De day I'm corrected by an eediot-oh! ...Heh, you're right, Steempy. Not bad."

Stimpy smiled brightly, "Did I do good, Ren?"

"Yes, Steempy."

They came outside the apartment building, going around to the back. Although it wasn't a typical backyard size, it was a sizable grassy lot. Stimpy happily frolicked along, bouncing with joy.

"Let's play, Ren! Let's play!" He said.

"Awright, awright! Hold your horses, man!" Ren chided, going over to the cat and handing him the catcher's mitt, "So for dis lesson, I'm de pitcher and you're de catcher. All you have to do is catch de ball precisely in dat glove! Tink you can do dat?"

Stimpy nodded and placed the glove over his hand, "You got it, Ren! I'm ready!"

Ren chuckled, then walked a few paces away and bounced the baseball up and down in one hand, "You better watch out, man! I have a mean fastball!"

"I can take it!" Stimpy giggled, pumping his fist into the mitt.

"Don't say I didn't warn you!" Ren winked. He threw his arm back, wound up the shot, and then tossed the ball.

"Ooh ooh! I got it I got it I got it!" Stimpy began to panter about, trying to catch the ball. It bounced to the ground at his feet.

"Steempy! You're not supposed to run around!" Ren yelled, shaking his head, "You have to stand still!"

Stimpy blushed in embarrassment, but nodded, "Okay, Ren! I'll try it again!" He picked up the ball and threw it back to him. Clumsily, of course.

Picking the ball up, Ren wound up for another pitch. He closed one eye, carefully aimed, and then tossed the ball right at the target. The ball sailed through the air and landed in Stimpy's waiting glove.

"Oh, joy! I caught it! I caught it!" Stimpy cheered, laughing happily, "That was a great pitch, Ren!"

"Of course eet was," Ren smirked proudly, "I've got a mean fastball."

XXX

~12 & 23~

Happily settling into his bed, Stimpy sighed happily and giggled, making himself comfortable, "Thanks for tucking me in, Ren!"

"You can do eet yourself, you know," Ren said dryly, pulling the covers over the little cat.

"I know, but it's better when you do it," Stimpy smiled, his cheeks turning a bit pink.

Ren looked at him oddly, "What's weeth you? Are you getting seeck?"

Shaking his head, Stimpy made himself comfortable against his pillow, "Nope, I'm fine! Goodnight, Ren!"

"Goodnight, Steempy," Ren gave a light smile, then turned off his lamp and headed to the door.

"Reeeeen!"

"What?!" Ren whirled around suddenly.

"No goodnight kiss?" Stimpy pouted at him.

Ren blinked, utterly shocked, "...You're keeding, right?"

"Nope!" Stimpy grinned.

"Go to bed, eediot," Ren rolled his eyes and headed to the door again.

"Pretty please?" Stimpy begged.

This was ridiculous. Stimpy was twelve, for crying out loud! He himself had outgrown goodnight kisses from his mother at a younger age. It hadn't even been an issue for either of them since day one. Why was it being brought up _now_?

"Oh, alright! Eef I do it, you promise to go to sleep? And _let me_ sleep in?" Ren asked, resigned by now.

"Sure, Ren!" Stimpy brightened visibly.

All this just for a goodnight kiss?

Shaking it off, Ren walked over and leaned down, giving a little kiss to the cat's head, "Dere. Happy?"

"Joy!" Stimpy giggled, blushing a bit, "Thanks, Ren! Nighty night!"

Relieved that it was over, Ren nodded and headed to the door, "Goodnight, Steempy."

For a moment or two he paused, then glanced over his shoulder; expecting Stimpy to speak up again. When he didn't, Ren exhaled and left the room, closing the door behind him. Making his way over to the couch, he sat down and exhaled softly, making himself comfortable.

A bright smile came to his face then as he chuckled to himself. "Dat keed is too much..." A little flutter came to his heart, but he pushed it aside for now. At least he had nothing to worry about for the time being.

~X~

"Steempy! Come on, we're going to be late!" Ren called into the apartment again, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Coming, Ren!" Stimpy called back, finally scrambling into view. He was doting a hardhat, boots, and a small toolbox, "Okay, I'm ready!"

"Took you long enough," Ren muttered, shaking his head. He ushered his ward out the door and closed it behind them, making sure it was locked.

Stimpy giggled, following him, "Soooo, where we goin' again?"

Groaning, Ren palmed his muzzle and rolled his eyes, "God, Steempy, I told you! Dad asked us to come and help him build a couple of bookshelves!"

"Joy!" Stimpy grinned at this idea, getting a bounce in his step, "Is this what they call quality father-son time? Building stuff together?"

Shrugging, Ren adjusted his toolbelt as they walked, "You could say dat."

"So, it'll be you, me, and Grandpa doing all this manly building stuff? That sounds fun!" Stimpy said excitedly, his eyes gleaming.

Ren couldn't help chuckling at the very factor that his father was practically a grandfather. "Just try not to do anyting stupeed, okay?"

"I'll do my best, Ren!" Stimpy said, reaching up to take his hand.

Looking down at him, Ren pulled his hand away, "What are you doing?"

"Just holdin' your hand!" Stimpy said cheekily, giving him a grin, "You wouldn't want me to get lost, would ya?"

Rolling his eyes, Ren sighed and took his hand again, "All right, fine! Stay close to me, den."

They walked along in silence for some time, nearing the suburban neighbourhood his parents lived in. For most of the walk, Stimpy was surprisingly quiet aside from occasional whistles and hums. Despite that, he had a big smile on his face and a gleam in his eyes. Ren shrugged a bit, deciding to enjoy the silence while he could.

"Hey, Ren?"

So much for that.

"What ees eet, Steempy?"

"Would it be weird for me to say that you're very handsome?" Stimpy asked, an innocent smile on his face.

A little surprised at the odd question, Ren glanced down at his ward. He considered for a moment or two, then shrugged, "No, not really. Facts are facts, anyway."

"Okay! Well, I think you're a very handsome guy!" Stimpy giggled, grinning at him now. "I don't know how you do it, but it's working!"

Ren couldn't help chukling a bit, shaking his head, "What can I say, looking good ees just part of what I gotta do."

"Then don't you stop!" Stimpy winked at him.

What was with that? Ren shrugged it off, patting him on the head with his free hand, "As eef I would, Steempy."

Finally, they soon made it to his parents' place. His father was already out on the driveway, organizing some lumber and a sawing table. Some schematics were strewn on the table, held down by paperweights, and a large toolbox sat next to it. All the while, Mrs. Hoek was working on her garden, and waved to the boys as they came up the curb.

Mr. Hoek looked up and gave them both a nod before beckoning them closer. Ren let go of Stimpy's hand, then jogged over to his father.

"You boys ready for some work?" Mr. Hoek said, looking from Ren to Stimpy, an amused glint in his eyes.

"We sure are, Mr. Hoek!" Stimpy said eagerly, adjusting his hat, "Anything you need us to do, we're on it!"

Ren glanced down at his ward, then shrugged and jerked his thumb in his direction, "Yeah, what he said."

Mr. Hoek chuckled and patted Stimpy's head, "Glad to hear it, boys. We'll start by measuring out and cutting the wood for the shelves. Here, I'll show you."

Taking a strip of lumber, he placed it onto the table and produced a tape measure. Upon finding the correct measure point, he marked it with a pencil. Hopping onto a nearby stool in order to see better, Stimpy watched with eager interest as his honourary grandfather showed them the indicated line.

"That's about the length we want for the shelves, around sixteen and a half inches," Mr. Hoek said, then pointed to a saw that sat over the bench. "Think you boys can get us started?"

Ren glanced at the pile of lumber, counting six of them. He nodded toward his father and gave a cocky smirk, "Oh, dat won't be a problem."

"Great," Mr. Hoek chuckled and patted his son's head, earning a grumble in response, "I have to get some more nails and screws from the garage, I'll be right back."

"Sure thing, Mr. Hoek!" Stimpy said brightly, waving after him. He turned to Ren and tugged on his jacket, "Say Ren, could you show me how to saw?"

Looking at the large saw, then at Stimpy, Ren hesitated, "I don't know, Steempy... It's pretty beeg and I wouldn't want you to cut yourself."

"Please? I promise I'll be careful!" Stimpy gave him puppy dog eyes yet again, even sticking out his lower lip.

' _Dees keed is going to be de death of me...'_ Ren thought. He rolled his eyes and sighed heavily, "Fine! But I'm going to help you. Mom will have my head if anything happens to you!"

"Okay, Ren!" Stimpy said agreeably, reaching for the saw, only for Ren to slap his hand.

"Be careful, you eediot! You don't know heavy that theeng is!" Ren scolded. He then exhaled, softening his tone somewhat, "Just... let me show you, Steempy."

With that, he picked up the saw and placed the blade over the marked line on the strip. Nodding to Stimpy, he proceeded to saw it slowly, "See? Like dees. You have to do eet slowly at first, seence you gotta get in dere first." After a few strokes, he took Stimpy's hand and placed it onto the handle, and then his other hand on the strip, "Hold eet steady while you saw, so dat way it won't jostle! Got eet?"

"I got it!" Stimpy said with a rapid nod. He slowly began to saw, but was having trouble getting it to move. Letting out a breath, Stimpy tried again, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. After a few more attempted strokes, he barely moved the saw an inch. "Oh, poopoo! I can't do it..."

Shaking his head, Ren stepped up behind him, "Here, let me help, eediot." He placed his own hand over Stimpy's on the saw, gently grasping it before doing the same over Stimpy's other hand. Making sure the grip on the saw was steady, Ren slowly moved their hands together to cut through the wood.

"Aww, thanks a lot, Ren! Couldn't have done it without you!" Stimpy beamed, leaning back against him a little bit.

Ren looked down at him oddly, then shrugged it off as he continued helping him saw, "Eh, no beeg deal. Keeds your age aren't always dat strong, anyway."

"You'd be a great lumberjack, Ren!" Stimpy giggled, "Can you imagine? You're just walking around the forest, all rugged and cool, carrying an ax over your shoulder... You come up to the biggest tree in the forest, and you just go right at it! Whack whack, timbeeeeeer!"

The vision made Ren snort, but he couldn't help liking the idea to some degree. Especially if it meant he looked manly and rugged, with some women watching in admiration of his skills. "Heh, dat's not a bad idea, Steempy."

"Joy!" Stimpy said happily, "Did I do good, Ren?"

Rolling his eyes, Ren hid a smile and nodded, "Yes, Steempy. Yes you deed."

Finally, the strip was cut just perfectly, to which Stimpy happily cheered. Mr. Hoek had come back from the garage, but hadn't said a word as he watched the two sawing. When Ren looked up, his father was smiling with amusement.

"Good work, boys. That's some solid teamwork you have there."

"Thanks, Mr. Hoek! Ren is so helpful and strong!" Stimpy grinned widely, "He's the man!"

Giving a smirk, Ren patted his head, "I sure am de man."

Mr. Hoek laughed heartily, placing a couple of boxes of nails and screws onto the table, "Glad to hear it, son. You ready to cut the rest of them?"

"Oh, we were born ready! Yeeeeaaah! Eye of the Tiger!" Stimpy cheered, pumping his fist into the air.

"Okay, okay, let's not get carried away, Steempy," Ren coaxed his ward, "Sorry dad, he's too excited."

"That's okay. I like his enthusiam," Mr. Hoek smiled, "Let's get to it, boys."

~X~

This evening couldn't have gone better. Oh, Ren was lucking out like nobody's business. Here he sat on the couch, alongside a beautiful female Bischon Frisee. Her name was Greta and she lived across town, but often frequented to the area since she had friends and family nearby.

"Soooo... a lumberjack, are you?" Greta giggled, tracing her finger along his shoulder, "That's impressive."

"I just started, but I'm pretty damn good," Ren bragged with a smirk, winking at her, "I can get dose trees down like nobody's beesiness! But... dat doesn't mean I won't give back! Every weekend, I go back and plant every tree I cut down! It's good for the environment, Meess Greta."

Greta gave a giggle, snuggling closer, "Oooh, what a man! You're so rugged and yet you care! Aw, I love that!"

"Well, I'm a stud, after all," Ren chuckled and brought an arm around her shoulder. "So what say I show you how much of a stud I _really_ am?"

"Oooohhh! You horrible man!" Greta laughed, playfully batting his chest, "What do you have in mind?"

Ren winked and rubbed her thigh, "My bedroom's just down the hall, so we could-"

The apartment door opened, with Stimpy walking in, humming happily to himself as he carried a couple of tupperware containers. No doubt leftovers from Mrs. Hoek. Upon noticing Ren and Greta, his expression became a mix of happy, confused, and slightly dejected.

"Oh, uh, hi Ren! I didn't know we had company..."

"Steempy!" Ren hissed through gritted teeth, "I'm on a date! Why are you back so early?!"

Stimpy blinked, confused, "...What do you mean, Ren? You told Grandpa to have me back here by nine-thirty. It's nine-thirty now."

Ren was ready to chew him out, but looked at the VCR clock. Sure enough, it was nine-thirty-one. Had he seriously lost track of the time? Before he could say anything else, Greta flew out of her seat and rushed over to Stimpy.

"Awwww! He's so cute! Hello there, sweetie!" Greta cooed, petting his head, "I didn't know you had a pet, Ren!"

Blushing now, Ren sighed as he began to deflate, "...He's my son."

"Your son?! Ooohhh! Wow! I didn't know you were a father! Wow!" Greta exclaimed. She giggled and pet Stimpy's nose, "What a cutie!"

"Actually, I'm adopted! Ren took me in a couple years ago!" Stimpy said with a smile. "He's the best dad ever!"

"Awww... How sweet! Good for you!" Greta stood up then, smoothing her blouse. "I'd better go, then! I wouldn't want your son to miss his bedtime! Have a good night, Ren! Goodnight to you too, sweetie!"

"Goodbye!" Stimpy waved after her as she left the apartment. He giggled and closed the door behind her, "Wow Ren, she's so nice!"

Ren grumbled to himself, grabbing the remote and turning on the TV, "Whatever. Go to bed, Steempy."

Blinking, Stimpy walked toward him, "But why, Ren? I'm not tired."

"I said go to bed, damn eet!" Ren scolded angrily, glaring now, "Don't make me tell you again!"

Ears drooping, Stimpy turned away and slowly walked toward his room. Given his slumped posture, it was clear he felt ashamed. All at once, Ren felt as if he were smacked across the face. Shame weighed down on him as he slumped over as well. Why did this happen? Stimpy didn't even do anything wrong. Sighing heavily, Ren buried his face in his hands. How could he do that? Did Stimpy really deserve that?

No. He didn't.

Exhaling again, Ren stood up and went toward Stimpy's room. Sure enough, he found his ward curled up on his bed, sniffling. Feeling his heart fall to his stomach, Ren approached and knocked on the doorway.

"Steempy? Are you sleeping?"

A small sniffle sounded from Stimpy, but he didn't respond. Even so, it was all Ren needed. He sighed, then came into the room and sat on the edge of his bed.

"I'm... sorry, Steempy. I lost track of de time and was having a great date. But I deedn't mean to yell at you."

Stimpy sniffled again, but this time he rolled over to face him, "Is... that why you wanted me out of the house?"

No point in lying. Ren nodded slowly, "Yeah."

"...Why didn't you say so?" Stimpy asked.

"I don't know," Ren admitted with a shrug, "You're a keed, you don't understand all dees grownup stuff."

Stimpy sighed a bit, scooting closer, "I know, but you still could've told me. I mean... I don't really like it, but I'm not going to tell you what you can't do, Ren."

Ren glanced at the small cat, then sighed as he reached over to pet his head, "Okay, Steempy. I'll tell you next time I bring a date over, okay?"

Giving a little smile, Stimpy nodded, "Okay, Ren."

Relieved that things were better, Ren stood up and pulled the covers over his ward. He patted his head and then went to leave the room. Just before he turned out the light, he paused for a moment. Turning back around, Ren looked at Stimpy with confusion.

"Wait, what deed you mean when you said you don't like eet?"

"Huh?" Stimpy looked over at him, "Don't like what?"

"You said eet, not me," Ren approached his ward now, placing his hands on his hips, "So what were you talking about?"

Stimpy blushed and looked away, "Oh, nothing!"

" _Steempy..._ " Ren snarled warningly. "You're hiding sometheeng from me."

Looking ashamed, Stimpy averted his gaze all the more and sighed, "I'm sorry, Ren! Please forgive me!"

Ren's eyes widened with alarm, "What do you mean? Forgeeve you for what?"

"Seeing you with other girls makes me sad!" Stimpy confessed, hiding his face in his blankets.

"...Oh..." Ren's ears drooped as he approached the bed again, biting his lip. He rubbed his arm a little, unsure how to respond to that. This was the oddest revelation he'd seen in a while, which was saying something. Looking at the little cat, Ren sat down on the bed again and placed his hand on his shoulder, "Well, why?"

"I don't know... I just..." Stimpy looked up at him, his eyes brimming with tears, "I don't want to lose you, Ren..."

"Lose me? What are you talking about?" Ren asked, frowning in confusion.

Stimpy looked away again, clutching the bedcovers tightly. "I feel like one day, you're going to find a beautiful woman, and then just... just leave me. You'll have everything you want and you won't need me anymore. You won't spend time with me or anything..."

The words struck Ren's heart as he began to realize all the more just what Stimpy was saying. He looked at his ward, seeing the sadness in his blue eyes, which didn't help. Squeezing his shoulder gently, Ren exhaled and then rubbed his back, "That's what dees ees about, Steempy? You theenk me seeing a girl will make me just geeve you up?"

"Yes..." Stimpy whimpered, sniffling.

Unable to believe this, Ren shook his head and then brought Stimpy closer into a little hug, "Come on now, don't be stupeed. Just because I'd go with a girl doesn't mean I would just stop being your friend! Dat doesn't make sense."

"But all those shows, all those cartoons... The character dates someone and just abandons their friends!" Stimpy exclaimed, clinging to him tightly.

Ren rolled his eyes, patting his head, "Steempy, dose shows aren't even real. Even eef dat happens, it's because dat person ees an eediot!"

Wiping his eyes a bit, Stimpy looked up at him hopefully, "Really, Ren?"

"Really," Ren nodded, patting his back now, "So stop yer sneeveling, Steempy. I'm not going anywhere."

"You promise?" Stimpy gave a small smile.

Exhaling, Ren nodded once more, "Yes. I promeese."

Looking more relieved, Stimpy snuggled more into him and closed his eyes. He remained like that for a few moments before speaking up again, "Thanks, Ren. I feel a whole lot better now."

"Good," Ren patted his head, then stood up, "Go to sleep, okay? You'll feel better tomorrow."

"Okay," Stimpy settled under his blankets and gave a smile, "Goodnight, Ren."

"Goodnight, Steempy," Ren hid a smile and headed out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Sitting back on the couch, Ren couldn't help reflecting as he went back to watching TV. How had he not realized that Stimpy would be bothered by that? Then again, it wasn't exactly something that was brought up between them. At least now he knew, right? He just had to make sure it wasn't going to affect his potential love life. It was all about balance. Spending time with his little buddy and dating pretty girls.

Ren grinned to himself as he leaned back against the couch and crossed one leg over the other. At least he still had the advantage of winning girls over once they knew he was raising a kid.

~X~

"Hey, Ren! I got the mail!" Stimpy chirped as he came back into the apartment, closing the door behind him. With his butt, of course.

Ren nodded as he read the newspaper at the table, holding his hand out for the mail, "Just give dem here, Steempy."

"Okay!" Stimpy did so, giggling, "I think you got a Valentine, Ren!"

"...A Valentine?" Ren looked at the envelopes and flipped through them, finding one that wasn't a bill. "But Valentine's Day ees een three days! Eh, oh well. Must be from Grandma or someteeng."

Stimpy giggled and rocked back and forth on his feet, "Why don't you check it out, Ren?"

"All right, all right!" Ren rolled his eyes. Nonetheless, he was thrilled to get a Valentine like this, to which he grinned widely. He opened the envelope and unfolded the piece of pink paper inside. "Eet says... ' _Dear Ren, you are my favorite Valentine!'_ Well well, looks like somebody's got eet bad for ol' me! ' _Nobody ees as smart or funny as you.'_ Oh come on now! Makeeng me blush over here! Haha! ' _You make me laugh and smile like nobody ever has.'_ How about dat, eh, Steempy? ' _You are my favorite person een de whole wide world. Thanks for everyteeng you have ever done. You're the best Valentine ever.'_ Buttering me up over here! How sweet, eh? ' _Love..._ ' Going a little strong, ees she? ' _Your pal...'_ " All at once, Ren's smile faded into a look of surprise, "...Steempy."

Silence befell the room, to which Ren looked down at Stimpy. The little cat gazed up at him with a sweet smile, his cheeks bright pink and blue eyes glimmering. Stimpy. He had selflessly written him a Valentine. Feeling as if his heart was going to melt, Ren let out a little laugh. Getting up from his chair, he knelt down on the floor and pet Stimpy's head.

"I meant every word," Stimpy smiled.

"You leetle rascal," Ren chuckled, then brought his ward into a hug. Hidden from Stimpy's view, tears pooled in Ren's eyes. What had he done to deserve such a sweet sentiment from anyone? It was almost too much. Like he could barely hold himself together without bursting. What a wonderful feeling.

Of course Stimpy hugged him back, which was so like him, as he loved hugs. He was giggling and sighing happily, clearly enjoying himself. "I love you, Ren..." Stimpy murmured, nuzzling into his chest.

Ren chuckled, patting his back, "Love you too, buddy."

"Joy..." Stimpy giggled.

~X~

Later on that day, Ren was putting away Stimpy's laundry, while sometimes picking up items off the floor. Of course Stimpy was a little messy. Of course he forgot to clean his room sometimes. Ren sighed as he did so, reminding himself to tell Stimpy to clean up. He then stepped on something, which turned out to be Stimpy's little notebook. Picking it up, Ren was about to put it on the dresser when something on it caught his eye.

Drawn on the open page was a heart, with _**Ren & Stimpy Forever**_ written in it. There were many little hearts doodled all around the paper, along with Ren's name written in various spots. All the more curious, Ren flipped through the pages, finding more of the same kinds of doodles. Sometimes with their heads drawn, other times little notes, everything that would pertain to someone with a crush.

Ren blinked a few times, taking it all in. Then he laughed as he placed the notebook down on the dresser, shaking his head. "So Steempy has a crush on me... Dat's cute. At least he's aspiring for quite a man!"


	2. Chapter 2

How long had it been? Ren was pretty certain he'd lost count at this point. It was well over a decade, at least. He wasn't sure, but it didn't matter. It was quite a life they'd had together. One he never saw coming, especially this long.

It wasn't easy. It often drove him up the wall, made him go crazy, and feel like he was surrounded by utmost idiocy. They could barely hold jobs most of the time, didn't always have a lot of resources, and were often relocating from place to place in attempts to settle down. Stability didn't quite come in large doses with their lifestyle or bond. Ren wasn't sure how he kept his grip on reality when he was such a nervous wreck most of the time. Stimpy even had crazy inventions that were, for the most part, either completely useless or worked _too_ well and caused problems.

Yet, at the same time, Ren couldn't even come close to imagining a life without Stimpy. He didn't want to. Anytime it seemed to happen, all it did was make him fall apart. Oh sure, it was blissful for about five minutes. But it wouldn't be long before Ren would completely break down and pine for him.

At least he didn't have to worry too much about that. If anything, Stimpy had said many a time he was perfectly happy staying with him. Ren couldn't help finding that peculiar, since Stimpy was well into adulthood by now. Oftentimes he attributed it to the fact that he was lazy and even pretty stupid, so living on his very own probably wasn't the best idea. Yet, Ren knew far well there was another reason.

Stimpy still to this day had a crush on him.

Ren wasn't sure how to feel about it. For the most part, he found it cute and very amusing. Flattering, even. But thinking about it too long brought on too many uncomfortable feelings. The idea of Stimpy eventually leaving him for someone else was too prevalent. It was possible he'd find someone else. As much as Ren would see it coming, he didn't feel comfortable with it. If anything, it made him sad.

That was plain weird. He didn't feel uncomfortable about it in the past. If anything, he anticipated the day and hoped Stimpy would find someone. Yet, these days, he just hoped that wouldn't happen.

Was this what parents went through? He wasn't even sure anymore. Even his parents had told him that although they'd miss him when he left and settled down with a girl, they'd be immensely happy for him. But something about it all didn't add up. Ren wasn't even sure what he'd feel if that happened to Stimpy. All he could think about was the possible pain and loneliness that would come with it.

Ren shook his head of these thoughts and parked the car in the driveway. Another long day of work. But at least it was over. He stepped out, stretched, grabbed his suitcase and headed to the front door. Giving a sigh of relief, Ren took out his key and unlocked the door, coming into the house.

"Steempy, I'm home!" He called into the house, closing the door behind him.

Almost immediately, Stimpy came into view from the kitchen and grinned at him, "Hi, Ren! You're back!" He ran over and greeted him with a big hug, nuzzling into his shoulder.

Ren blushed and gave Stimpy a little pat on the back, "Well of course I am, dumbass. I just got off work." He hesitated for a few moments, then returned the hug.

It was impossible to ignore just how warm Stimpy felt against him. His embrace never failed to feel wonderful. Ren shook slightly, trying to ward off unwelcome thoughts. No, no, he couldn't think this! Not like this!

"I know, silly!" Stimpy giggled, pulling back, "Dinner should be ready soon! You can go ahead and take a shower if you want!"

Giving a little nod, Ren set his suitcase down and glanced at his friend. Only to regret having done so. Stimpy was wearing an adorable pink frilly apron around his waist, coupled with a little pink headdress around his head. Feeling his breath hitch, Ren averted his gaze and busied himself taking off his hat.

"I'll go do dat, Steempy..." Ren muttered, brushing past him.

"Okay, Ren! See you in a bit!" Stimpy called after him in a sing-song voice.

It felt like an eternity, but Ren felt immense relief once he reached the bathroom. For a few seconds, anyway. All at once, it felt as if his body had grown heavy and his legs were getting weak. Taking a few deep breaths to calm himself, he went to the stall and turned on the water. At least a warm shower would help, right?

Stepping inside, Ren closed his eyes and allowed the warm water to wash over him pleasantly. It felt so good. He sighed a bit and relaxed his body, proceeding to wash up. Unfortunately, this allowed his mind to wander.

Stimpy in that cute apron. Stimpy looking at him while dancing in that cute little apron. Stimpy grinning at him, then beckoning him closer. Stimpy then turning around and bending over, allowing a generous view of his _very_ voluptuous rear. Stimpy turning again and giving him bedroom eyes.

" _Oh, Ren..."_ He would say, his voice suggestive, _"I've been waiting for you all day... I have needs, you know. Maybe we should have dessert, first..."_

Letting out a cry, Ren's eyes shot open as he fought off such visions. He trembled and hugged himself, staring at the tile wall ahead of him. ' _No no no no! Dees eesn't happening! He's practically my son! Son! I raised heem, for God's sake! Come on, Ren! You like women! Beautiful human women! Dogs sometimes, too!'_

Shutting his eyes again, he did all he could to think of better thoughts. Beautiful women. Sunset on a beach. Romance novels. More beautiful women! There, he had it under control. Beautiful women on a beach, laughing and running around, while he sat back on his towel reading romance novels.

Then came all kinds of men, shirtless of course, with large pectoral muscles and biceps. Very handsome and suave they were. Some siddled up to the women, while a few more siddled up to one another. Oh, it was so tantalizing!

Ren shot his eyes open again, shaking a bit. No, he couldn't think of that either! This was terrible! He took a few breaths, trying to regain his thoughts and control of his own body. How could this be happening? It started ever since Stimpy was old enough to be an adult. But back then, it was in small doses and Ren attributed it to the power of suggestion. Sometimes someone liking you could get you considering that option. That was harmless, right?

Unfortunately, these thoughts became more and more frequent. Ren shuddered, staring down at the wet tiled floor, watching the water slowly pour down the drain.

' _I can't theenk dis! No! Not Steempy! Not my own son! I'm a man! A man! I like women! Women! I don't want both!'_ He thought. ' _I can't want my own son! I raised heem! No way!'_

Looking down at himself, he was dismayed to find a certain problem. Why did this always have to happen? Ren looked up, deciding his options. Cold showers were said to be helpful, but considering he had next to no body fat, they were more uncomfortable than helpful. He exhaled, deciding to just take care of it the old fashioned way.

That was easy enough. Ren shrugged it off and went to work. ' _Okay... Dere it is... lovely babes, maybe a few naked ones... heheh...'_

 _The woman knelt down in the stall, gazing at him with sultry eyes. Her long, shiny red hair falling down her creamy shoulders. She took him in her hand, going in long strokes. Right then, she grinned at him stupidly. Ren was puzzled, but didn't let it bother him. It was cute, anyway._

 _A few more strokes. He panted and moaned a little, shaking in place. Closing his eyes, he leaned back against the wall._

" _Dat's eet, baby... Dat's what I need... Ah yeah, come to daddy..." He purred._

" _Sure, Ren!" The girl said, but had Stimpy's voice coming out of her mouth._

 _Ren's eyes shot open, finding Stimpy now in front of him, grinning. All while giving him a handjob._

" _S-Steempy! What are you doing, man?!"_

" _What does it look like I'm doing, Ren?" Stimpy chuckled, leaning closer to him, "I'm giving you a helping hand."_

 _Ren blushed and tried to pull away, "No! We can't do dees! Eet's not natural! You're my son! Stop eet, you eediot!"_

" _Do you_ really _want me to stop, Ren?" Stimpy asked, giving him a sweet smile._

 _Staring at him, Ren looked down, then back up, before quivering all the more. Every bit of him, save for his heart and body, wanted to say no. No way. He had to say no. This wasn't right. But why did it feel so good? Why did it feel like Stimpy's hand belonged there?_

 _Why did it feel more enticing than when a woman would do it?_

" _...No..." Ren confessed, trembling. "Please don't stop, Steempy..."_

" _Does it feel good?" Stimpy purred, coming closer to him, "Tell me it feels good, Ren..."_

 _Panting and moaning softly, Ren grabbed at his shoulders and leaned against him. Oh, his hand felt amazing! He couldn't get enough! "Yes... it feels way too good, Steempy."_

 _Stimpy giggled and nuzzled his head, "I just want to please you, Ren... I want to make you happy."_

 _Pulling back slightly, Ren smiled and brought him closer, "Steempy... you make me happier than I've ever been."_

" _Aww..." Stimpy beamed at him, "C'mere, Ren... Kiss me."_

" _Sure theeng, pal..." Ren grinned and leaned closer to him..._

All at once, Ren's eyes shot open as he came to realize just what he was fantasizing. He squeaked and let go of himself, hugging his body and trembling. Letting out a whimper, he slid down to the floor and curled up. Sniffling, he shut his eyes and whimpered all the more, trembling.

"I'm deesgusting...!" Ren moaned sadly. "How can I want to do dees to heem... He's like my son..."

~X~

Was a day at the beach a good idea? Probably not.

Nonetheless, at least Stimpy was having fun. Ren couldn't help giving a smile as he watched him making a sandcastle. He was even wearing a _female_ swimsuit along with a plastic bathing cap. It was taking all of his body and will not to fixate on how adorable he looked.

"This was a great idea, Ren! We haven't been to the beach in ages!" Stimpy grinned widely, patting a part of his sandcastle with his plastic shovel.

Ren looked up from his romance novel and chuckled, "What can I say, eet's a perfect way to spend a summer day."

"You said it!" Stimpy agreed, molding some of the sand into the shape of a tower. "Say, Ren? Can you get me a hot dog? I'm pretty hungry!"

Although a little perturbed at being interrupted from his reading, Ren shrugged and stood up, "Oh, all right. Stay right here, den. I'll be back."

"Got it!" Stimpy gave him a thumbs up. "No mustard, please!"

Ren sighed and started to walk off, "Okay, Steempy."

"And don't forget the relish!"

"Yes, Steempy."

"Ooh ooh! And can you get me a drink? Surprise me!"

"Fine, I'll get you a dreenk."

"Ooh ooh! And ketchup! Don't forget the ketchup!"

"Shut up, eediot!"

"Yes, dear!"

"Don't call me dat, dumbass!"

Stimpy laughed and waved him off, "I won't, honey!"

Rolling his eyes, Ren headed off toward the concession stand a ways off from the shoreline. A few people were already standing around it, a good portion of them being bikini-clad women. Ren grinned widely, slicked back some of his fur, and strutted toward the stand.

"Now dees ees more like it..." He said to himself with a chuckle.

As he came closer, the women all let out squeals of excitement and were giggling. Oh, this was too good to be true! Ren laughed as he approached the women, waving a hand in a modest manner.

"Now ladies, no need to get up een arms," Ren said with a chuckle, "Eet's just-"

"Are you even seeing this?!" The woman nearest to him grinned, pointing behind him, "That famous movie star Hank McHandsome is here!"

Dismayed, Ren turned around. Sure enough, a tall, tan, muscle-toned man was walking along the beach some ways from them. His brown hair blew in a non-existent breeze, his legs were exposed by a tiny speedo, and he had amazing pectoral muscles.

Ears drooping, Ren sighed and felt deflated. ' _Of course eet's a Hollywood beeg shot... I'm too small and scrawny...'_

"Oh, isn't he dreamy?!" Another woman said.

"Like, totally!" Said her friend.

"Oh, I could stare at him all day!"

"Look at his pecs! They're incredible!"

Ren dared look, and found himself transfixed. This was one handsome man. He was definitely strong and muscled, but it wasn't bulky to the point of being disgusting. If anything, it was a great balance. Even his pectoral muscles looked just the right size for his upper torso. His legs were large, but far from being the size of massive tree trunks. Combined with the man's dark brown eyes and wavy brown hair, it only added to his look.

"He _ees_ quite a man..." Ren murmured in awe. Realizing what he was saying, he slapped himself in the face to get his thoughts straight. ' _What am I doing?! I should want to LOOK like heem! Not want to DO heem!'_ Taking a few breaths, he turned himself away and went to the stand to place the order.

At least that went without a hitch.

Upon returning to Stimpy, they sat down and munched at their food. Finally, Ren could just relax. What better way to relax than to have a little picnic on the beach with his best friend? He closed his eyes for a moment, absorbing the flavours of his burger, the sound of the waves crashing, and the smell of sea water. It was just perfect.

"I tell you, Steempy, we have to do dees more of-" Ren cut himself off the moment he opened his eyes.

Stimpy sat there, his hot dog halfway into his mouth, chewing on it slowly. He made soft sounds of pleasure while he did so, stuffing it further in. Ren gulped, his grip on his burger tightening a little. He tried hard to avert his gaze, but was finding it difficult to do so.

Thankfully, Stimpy didn't seem to notice. He pulled out the rest and wiped his mouth, "Mm-hmm! We definitely should, Ren!"

Looking away, finally, Ren quietly munched on his burger. Why, oh why, did he have to keep getting sucked in? This made no sense! Was he going to be unable to watch Stimpy eating a lollipop? Or ice cream? Of course he immediately regretted even thinking those, as visions of such ideas popped into his head.

"Ren?"

"What?!" Ren snapped his gaze toward Stimpy, breathing heavily.

"You've got some ketchup on your lip! Here, I got it!" Stimpy smiled, taking a napkin and wiping his mouth with it.

"Mmph! Steempy! Stop eet!" Ren whined, waving his hands pathetically, "I don't need help!"

"Oh, pshaw! I know that, but I wanted to!" Stimpy giggled, grinning with amusement.

Ren blushed, looking away, "You just love babying me, don't you?"

"Guiltyyyyy!" Stimpy drawled, giggling.

"I hate you."

"You love me!"

"Shut up, you eediot!"

Stimpy leaned toward him, smiling mischievously, "I love you tooooooo!" He said in a sing-song voice.

Blushing heavily, Ren turned away and aggressively ate his burger. ' _Dat's de the problem, you eediot! Stop loving me! I don't deserve eet! I can't let eet happen! I don't deserve you! But I can't leeve without you... Damn eet, Steempy! Why do you do dis to me, man?!'_

~X~

Shopping at the supermarket wasn't usually a hassle, even for them. Sure, Stimpy sometimes got into altercations, but never usually anything major. The only real problems they ever had was Ren trying to stop Stimpy from buying certain things. Whether because it wasn't needed, it was bad for him, too much of something, or just plain expensive.

Luckily, it looked like today wasn't going to be too bad.

"Okay, let's see... Milk, butter, eggs..." Ren said as he read off his little list, "Now remember, Steempy, we're just getting a few theengs."

"Got it, Ren! But could I please get a chocolate bar? Just one!" Stimpy asked hopefully, grinning at him.

Rolling his eyes a bit, Ren sighed, "All right, fine. But just one! And get the cheapest one, we're on a budget."

Stimpy smiled and saluted before running off, "Got it, Ren! See you in a bit!"

"I swear, eef he comes back with ten pounds of chocolate, I'm going to make him _sweem_ een it..." Ren muttered to himself. He looked into the meat section and smiled, "Ooh, they're having a special on Yak's meat!"

So far, so good. Ren couldn't help sighing in relief as he selected the other items on his list. It was nice to just have normal shopping trips together. As he perused the romance novels, Ren paused as he heard something from the other aisle. Something that sounded like Stimpy's voice. Frowning in confusion, he took his hand basket and went around to the next aisle.

Further down the aisle, Stimpy stood with a jar of grape jelly in his hands, while a short and stout man was trying to grab it from him.

"Just gimme that jam, you stupid cat!" The man snarled.

Stimpy took a step back, "I-I'm sorry, sir! I had it first! I didn't mean to take the last one!"

"Like that matters! You gimme that jam or else!" The man raised his fist.

Seeing red, Ren practically flew down the aisle and grabbed the man's wrist. He squeezed hard, narrowing his eyes at him dangerously, "Eef you lay one hand on heem, I'll break more dan just your wreest!"

"You think I'm scared of you, ya pathetic rat?!" The man sneered at him mockingly, "What do you care? He's just a stupid fat bastard!"

"Shut de hell up!" Ren growled, punching the man square in the jaw, causing his head to fly back, "Nobody messes weeth Steempy except me!"

"Ren! Please calm down!" Stimpy pleaded.

"Not now, eediot!" Ren waved him off, then pushed back the offender. The man whined pathetically and ran off, "You get de hell out of my face! Come near heem again and I'll-"

"Ren! Ren, calm down!" Stimpy grabbed hold of his arm, looking at him sadly, "He's gone... it's okay."

Managing to calm down a little, Ren exhaled and gently removed Stimpy's hand, "Eet's a good thing you weren't far, Steempy. What happened?"

"I was getting some jelly, and that guy got angry because I took the last one!" Stimpy showed him the jar of grape jelly, "I'm sorry, Ren..."

"Why?" Ren asked with confusion, taking the jar, "You deedn't do anything wrong. Dat guy was just an asshole."

"I know, but it made you upset," Stimpy said guiltily.

Rubbing his back, Ren chuckled and led him back to the basket, "Forget about eet, Steempy. Water under de bridge."

"Okay," Stimpy sighed, but then gave a smile, "But you know, you sure were pretty brave back there. I mean, that guy was a bit bigger than you! And you just went and stood up to him like no one's business!"

"Well, of course! I wasn't about to let him do what I'm supposed to do," Ren snorted.

"It's so manly of you, Ren! I'ts great to know you have my back," Stimpy smiled more, "I feel safe around you."

' _Steempy thinks I'm manly, does he? Guess dat's where his crush comes in handy...'_ "Glad to hear it, eediot," Ren bopped his nose a bit roughly, but with affection, "C'mon, let's go ring deese up."

"Can I still get a candy bar?"

"Yes you can."

"...Can I get two?"

"Don't push eet."

Stimpy grinned at him, patting his back, "Can you blame a cat for trying?"

Rolling his eyes a bit, Ren shrugged and lead the way to the express line, "No, I guess not."

~X~

Christmas was fast approaching, which was always a fairly big deal in the Hoek household. If they happened to be close by, usually they would join Ren's parents on Christmas Day. Typically, they tended to spend it together at home, with all the decorations and accessories they needed. Just a simple day spent together, exchanging gifts and marveling at the decorations.

Stimpy hummed happily as he hung the dingleberry garland, even dancing a little. Ren meanwhile was putting some ornaments on their tree, doing all he could not to glance at his best friend. No, not when he was _way_ too tantalizing. But at least a good chunk of their holiday was going to be spent with his parents and some relatives. That at least was a good way to negate temptation. It just wasn't going to be for at least another couple of weeks.

"All done, Ren!" Stimpy announced as he hopped down from the stool he was standing on.

Looking at his work, albeit a bit messy, Ren smiled with approval, "Not bad, Steempy. Now come over here and help me."

"Sure!" Stimpy grinned, waddling over to him with a small box of Christmas balls, "I sure love decorating for Christmas! Don't you?"

Ren shrugged a bit, placing a ballerina ornament on a branch, "Eet's okay, pretty nice."

"Pretty nice? It's even more than that, silly!" Stimpy laughed, hanging a ball, then another one, "Admit it, Ren! You love it!"

"Steempy, just help me decorate, okay?"

"Yes sir!"

They continued decorating for quite a bit, right down to hanging a wreath on their front door. Stimpy hung it, while Ren supervised to make sure it was straight. Satisfied with its placement, they stood back for a few moments to admire their work.

"Mm-hm! We did it, Ren!" Stimpy smiled, patting his shoulder. "Looks great!"

Ren gave a short nod, a smile tugging at his lips, "Sure, it's better now. C'mon, let's go inside and watch some TV, we need a break."

Stimpy nodded in agreement, then led the way inside. Upon closing the door, however, he looked up. A big grin came over his lips as he faced Ren again, "Hey, Ren! Look!"

"Look at what?" Ren asked with confusion.

Giving a coy smile, Stimpy pointed upward. Following the direction, Ren could now see the source. Hanging above them on a small hook was a sprig of mistletoe. Not mistaken holy berry. It was pure mistletoe. Fake, of course, but still in the right shape.

At that moment, it dawned on Ren. He looked at Stimpy again, who was grinning at him hopefully. This wasn't good. The fact that Stimpy clearly wanted it wasn't even the problem.

It was that Ren _wanted it too._

Swallowing hard, Ren took a slight step back. He had to fight it. He had to get out of this. There was no way he could do it. No matter how much his body and his heart was practically _begging_ for it. ' _No no no! I can't do eet! Stupeed mistletoe! Why'd I even hang eet up?! Damn dees urges!'_

"Please, Ren?" Stimpy said softly. The smile was still there. But there was clear plead in his eyes.

Ren felt a stab of guilt and was frozen to the floor. It was almost hard to fathom just how much Stimpy wanted this. He took a deep breath, figuring to just let his friend indulge. Just this once.

"...Fine," Ren said with a sigh, "But make eet snappy."

This made Stimpy smile widely, his eyes lighting up, "Oh, joy!" He then paused, looking unsure, "Wait... How do I do it?"

"Do what?" Ren asked.

"You know... all that kissing stuff. I have no idea how to," Stimpy confessed, his cheeks going a bit pink.

"What?!" Ren exclaimed with surprise, "What do you mean, you have no idea?! You told me you keessed dat girl you went on a date weeth!"

"I lied!" Stimpy said, looking away in shame, "I only said it because I wanted to make you proud! The truth is, we decided to just be friends because it wasn't working out!"

Ren facepalmed, groaning in irritation, "So all dose nights you went out?"

"I went to the arcade or the library... I wanted to stretch it out so I wouldn't look pathetic!" Stimpy sighed, looking downward, "I never kissed anyone, Ren..."

"Damn eet, Steempy..." Ren sighed, shaking his head, "Never mind. Just, come here. I'll show you how eet's done."

"Really...?" Stimpy looked up at him now.

"We're under de mistletoe, aren't we?" Ren said dryly, rolling his eyes, "I can at least help you do eet right."

"Awww, you're the best, Ren!" Stimpy giggled, coming closer to him, "So, uh... where do I put my hands?"

"Eet doesn't matter," Ren waved it off, "Just... I don't know, put them on my shoulders, or sometheeng."

"Okay!" Stimpy did so, giving them a little rub. "Now what?"

Ren exhaled, coming a little closer to him, "Just teelt your head, den come towards me. And for heaven's sake, don't close your eyes yet! You might meess."

"Got it!" Stimpy leaned in closer, until their noses touched, "Uh, Ren? What do I do with my nose?"

"Eet's een de way, just move over," Ren said, pushing his own nose past it. He cringed a bit, wrinkling his nose, "Egh! Steempy, your breath steenks! At least take a breath meent!"

"Oh, sorry, Ren!" Stimpy said apologetically. He took a couple of Mentos from his pocket, popping them into his mouth. "Aaaahh... There we go!"

"Good den," Ren came a little closer, feeling his cheeks get hot. "Now just, poocker up, okay? I'll do de rest."

"Sure thing!" Stimpy smiled, then puckered his lips.

' _I can't believe I'm about to do dees... I'm goeeng to Hell...'_ Ren thought. He looked at Stimpy, then his lips, and knew he had to just do it.

Trying to keep his mind steady, Ren closed the gap between them. Their lips met, which was a bit awkward and at a stand-still. They stood, eyes wide open, staring at each other.

"...What now?" Stimpy asked, his voice muffled.

"Just... apply pressure, but be gentle! Don't just stand dere," Ren replied, his face turning bright pink.

Stimpy obeyed, proceeding to kiss back. It was awkward and a bit clumsy, but at least he was trying. There was such an earnest, that much he knew. Ren wasn't sure what to do, or how to feel. Stimpy's lips were surprisingly soft and warm, probably coated with lip balm. He trembled in place, feeling a sense of warmth in his stomach like never before.

It felt _too_ good. Way better than it should have felt. This wasn't right. He wasn't supposed to enjoy it. He was supposed to find it weird, but not unpleasant. No, he wasn't supposed to want more! This was insane! He didn't want to get intimate with another man! He liked women!

Oh, that could work. He could pretend he was kissing a beautiful woman. A perfect idea! Stimpy would get the kiss he wanted, while he himself could feel better about the situation. Ren closed his eyes and pressed closer, putting forth the image of a beautiful woman. Long red hair, gleaming blue eyes, a curvy figure, large breasts... Oh, perfect. Ren relaxed a bit, feeling more and more about the fantasy woman. As a result, he kissed Stimpy more fervently, even coming closer to him. In response, Stimpy let out a soft mewl and sounded like he was giggling.

As much as he didn't want to admit it, Ren found that really cute.

This is what it felt like to be kissed by someone who truly wanted it so badly. Kissing girls before had always been nice, but there was never that feeling of desire on their side. With Stimpy, surprising as it felt, it was there. Tenfold. Even though it was with another man, let alone one he himself raised, Ren couldn't help liking the feeling of just being wanted.

Would any girl ever look at him the way Stimpy did?

After some time, they parted and let go of each other. Ren felt his cheeks grow hotter as he gazed at his friend. Sure enough, Stimpy had a lovestruck gaze on his face, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth.

"Wow... thanks, Ren..." Stimpy murmured, bobbing a little on the spot.

Averting his gaze to hide his blush, Ren proceeded to walk away, "Yeah, sure... You're welcome. Now go... go make deenner or something. I'm hungry."

"Sure, Ren..." Stimpy said sweetly, walking toward the kitchen in a daze.

Now alone, Ren went over to the couch and sat down, staring at the wall. How did this happen? How had he gone from raising Stimpy to _kissing_ him? This wasn't right at all. They may not have been genetically or legally related, but that didn't stop their father-son bond. Now here they were, teetering on a strange line.

"What happened to us, Steempy..." Ren mumbled to himself. He picked up a photo album from the side table, opening it up on his lap. "We used to go feeshing together... go to Father-Son barbecues... Go hiking..."

All the photos displayed were from various times together when they'd been younger. Back when Stimpy was much smaller, when he himself actually had hair, and just had fun together. One photo featured them playing horsehoes at a Hoek family reunion, with Stimpy making the shot and dancing with joy. Another featured Ren sitting on his grandmother's couch, reading a romance novel while Stimpy was asleep in his lap. All the while he himself smiled down at his ward tenderly. He was pretty certain his mother had taken the photo when he wasn't looking. Another one featured Stimpy's twelth birthday, where he was standing on a chair and blowing out birthday cake candles. It was the same birthday that his father had given Stimpy a skateboard. Which Ren disapproved of, course. This just made his father chuckle and say that he truly was being a dad.

It was no wonder the next photos were of Stimpy, decked down in protective gear, trying to use his skateboard. Trying. Trying. Then falling down. And falling down. And falling down. And falling down. The last photo featured a disgruntled Ren having to push the skateboard with his foot while Stimpy learned to balance himself on it. Another set of photos was of them at the beach with his parents shortly after that birthday. One photo was of Stimpy burying Ren in the sand, who of course looked annoyed. Another was of Stimpy making a sandcastle, looking incredibly stoked while doing so. Another had Ren and Stimpy in the water, splashing each other and laughing. And finally, the last one from that was of Ren asleep on his towel, with Stimpy cuddled up next to him, also asleep.

Ren chuckled a bit, continuing to leaf through the album. Okay, this was good. At least looking at these sweet memories kept his urges in check. It wasn't going to be easy, especially with that kiss they'd just shared. But he had to try. For Stimpy. For his own sanity.

~X~

"Guess what, Ren? I have a date!"

Ren snapped his gaze up from his romance novel immediately, his eyes going wide, "What?!"

"A date!" Stimpy smiled at him, "When I went to the comic book store, I met this really nice guy! We got to talking, hit it off, and he asked me for coffee tomorrow! Can you believe it? I have a date!"

Nearly dropping his book, Ren felt a shiver run up his spine as he tried to process all of this. "You... have a date?"

"I sure do!" Stimpy giggled, clapping his hands with delight, "His name's Harry, he's a doberman, and pretty strong, too!"

Ren could feel an uncomfortable coiling in his stomach. He tried so hard to justify why he felt this. It couldn't have been jealousy. Wait, it was probably because he had to make sure Stimpy wasn't getting into trouble. Yes, that had to be it!

"Well... dat's good, den," Ren managed to say, "But you better be careful, Steempy! You know dere are all kinds of men out dere who weell take advantage of you!"

"Don't worry, Ren! Harry's really nice!" Stimpy waved it off with a chuckle, "It'll be great!"

Leaning back into the couch, Ren picked up his book and tried to read. But the more he tried, the harder it became. All he could think about was Stimpy's impending date. Why did it bother him so much?

' _Maybe because it's been a while since I dated? Eh, maybe, but I don't lose sleep over eet. So what de hell? ...I'm theenking too hard about dis.'_

XXX

The fated date night had come. Stimpy had left, to which Ren saw him off with all the advice he could offer. The moment Stimpy was gone, however, Ren found himself lonely. That made no sense. Sure, he hated being away from Stimpy for a long period of time, but this was ridiculous. It was one date!

Ren did all he could to occupy himself. He watched TV. He read books and magazines. He cleaned up. He played with his ball. He listened to his opera records. He watched TV again. He read again. Anything!

"Stupeed Steempy... Stupeed date... Stupeed Harry... Stupeed... stupeedness!" Ren ranted, kicking aside a discarded wad of paper and flailing his arms, "Argh! Why ees dees so maddening?! He's out on a freakeeng DATE! I should be glad for heem! I should be dancing for joy! Dees guy could get heem off my back! I'd be free! Free! So why ees dees making me so angry?! Why am I angry?! Why ees dees happening?! What now?! What's happeneeng?! What came first, de cheecken or de egg?!"

Ren paced around the living room angrily, growling and muttering to himself. Not a single answer was coming to mind. So what was he to do? What _could_ he do? He sighed heavily, sitting back on the couch.

"I should be happy... I should be glad he's after another guy and not me..." Ren sighed, staring up at the ceiling, "Eet makes no sense... I raised Steempy, I can't want heem for myself! Not like dat! Damn eet... What de hell ees wrong weeth me?!"

No answer came. Ren groaned and fell on his back, staring at nothing. His entire mind was jumbled, his heart was flipping about, and his stomach churned. Nothing was making sense. It practically hurt to think about it all.

"What am I going to do? I can't just tell Steempy not to date anyone..." Ren whimpered, sniffling a bit, "I want heem to be happy! So why?!"

No response.

Ren sighed, rolling onto his side and curling up into a ball. He had to get through this. He had to get used to the idea. Especially if Stimpy was serious about this Harry person. That in itself was hard to tell. It was only the first date and Stimpy did have a tendency to get too friendly with anyone he got along with.

His train of thought was interrupted when the door opened, with Stimpy skipping into the house. Humming to himself, of course.

"Joy!" Stimpy giggled to himself, closing the door behind him. "Oh there you are, Ren!"

Rolling over, Ren shuddered and stared at his friend, "W-What took you so long, man?! I was bored out of my mind for hours!"

"Hours?" Stimpy looked at the clock, then at Ren, "But Ren, I've only been gone for forty-five minutes! Harry had to get to work before we got coffee!"

"Oh, ees dat so?" Ren got off the couch, his hands shaking a bit, "Yeah... I bet Harry has quite a job, doesn't he? Corporate big shot, white-collar shirts and all that crap!"

Stimpy giggled, "Wow, Ren! How'd you know that he was a business manager?"

"Beesiness manager?!" Ren exclaimed, his eyes going wide, "...Does he have a nice car?"

"A black Corvette!" Stimpy smiled, "Brand new, too! He lives in a condo over in Plymouth Hills!"

"Pleemouth Heells?! Steempy, dat's an upscale neighbourhood!" Ren hurried over to Stimpy, grabbing his shoulders, "Do you know what dees means?!"

"...No?" Stimpy blinked at him in confusion.

"Of course you don't!" Ren slapped his nose, shaking his head, "You have to keep dating heem, Steempy! He's our teecket to de good life!"

"But Ren, he's a dog, not a ticket!" Stimpy said, rubbing his nose.

"I know dat, you eediot! I'm serious! You have a reech guy who wants to be weeth you! Don't mess eet up, man!" Ren poked his nose, "Men like dat don't come around very often!"

Stimpy's eyes went wide, then he took Ren's finger off his nose, "But... But I don't want to be a gold digger! I like Harry!"

"Den dat's all de more reason for heem to steeck around!" Ren exclaimed, flailing his arms and grinning, "He'll have more of an eencenteeve if you like heem for who he is! Trust me, I know dese things! So go on, Steempy! Call heem up after work and set up another date!"

"Well, okay then..." Stimpy shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck, "He, uh, kind of already asked me to go out with him tomorrow night."

Ren's eyes lit up, to which he hugged his friend, "You're on a roll, Steempy! Good work! I knew you could do eet!"

"Aw, but I didn't do anything!" Stimpy giggled, hugging him back.

"You are now!" Ren patted his back and pulled away, "You're makeeng me proud!"

"...Really?" Stimpy's eyes lit up.

"You bet!" Ren laughed, turning and going to the kitchen, "We'll have to celebrate! Let's have some peeg jowls!"

"Oh, joy!" Stimpy grinned, skipping after him.

XXX

Two months into the relationship, Stimpy announced to Ren that he wanted to have Harry over so the two could meet. Ren wasn't sure how to feel about it, all things considered. But he knew he had to put his best foot forward. Impressing someone with money was the key! The house was cleaned completely, while Stimpy went to work on preparing some dinner. It was a busy afternoon, but going to be well worth it.

"Steempy! I feenished cleaning de leeving room!" Ren announced as he came into the kitchen, "How's de-"

Ren stopped short in his tracks the very second he laid eyes on Stimpy. Along with the cute pink apron, he was wearing a very pretty flowered shirt and a light blue skirt. Upon turning around, he grinned widely.

"Hi there, Ren! The food's coming along great! You can come help me if you want!" Stimpy giggled.

"Uh..." Ren looked him up and down, especially with the way the skirt was just hugging Stimpy's generous posterior. He blushed a bit and looked away, "Y-Yeah, sure theeng, pal..."

Stimpy giggled and hip-bumped him the moment Ren stepped up next to him. "Soooo, what are you wearin' tonight, buddy?"

Ren blushed slightly and looked away, proceeding to chop some vegetables, "Eh, I I'll find sometheeng."

"Sure you will! You always look handsome no matter what you wear!" Stimpy winked at him, "Can you put on the black suit?"

"Why?" Ren looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I like that one best," Stimpy admitted with a cheeky grin, "It looks great on you."

Ren blushed darkly, looking down at the counter. Managing to keep his cool, he chuckled, "I theenk you're meestaken, Steempy. De suit doesn't make me look good. _I_ make de suit look good!"

Stimpy laughed heartily, patting his shoulder, "Good one, Ren!"

Hiding his smile, Ren went back to work on helping with the food. It was always a nice feeling being able to make Stimpy laugh. He wondered if Harry had even the slightest amount of humour.

After a couple more hours, everything was finally prepared. Ren went upstairs and changed into his suit, making sure to look his best. Which of course, he did. It made him wonder why he didn't wear clothes more often. Oh well, it didn't matter.

Looking at himself in the mirror, Ren grinned and looked at himself at all possible angles, winking at his reflection. "Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? Yeeeeah!" He laughed, turning back around to face the mirror, "Well, time to meet Steempy's reech boyfriend!"

Boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

The term felt strange to say, let alone hear himself say. If anything, he hadn't even thought to use it. Ren stared at his reflection as his smile faded, replaced by a grimace of mixed emotions. It made no sense. Stimpy had been with Harry for two months now, so why did it feel this way?

Sighing, Ren adjusted his tie and shook his head, "C'mon, Ren, you can do dees."

The doorbell rang, derailing his train of thought. Now was the moment of truth! Ren turned, put on his best smile, and went downstairs.

At the door, Stimpy opened it and greeted the visitor. With a kiss. The moment Ren saw that, his blood ran cold. His hand shook as he gripped the banister, trying to keep his balance. No! No, he couldn't want to punch this man in the face! Taking a deep breath, he came down the rest of the way, just as a tall doberman stepped into the house.

Much to Ren's surprise and dismay, Harry was very handsome. Well groomed, clean shaven, wearing clean clothes, and stood with an air of confidence. It was easy to tell, despite his suit, that he had very well-to-do muscles.

"Ren! Ren! There you are! Here, this is Harry! Harry, this is my best friend in the entire world, Ren!" Stimpy said excitedly.

Harry looked over at Ren and smiled, "Hi there, Ren! It's great to finally meet you! Stimpy here talks my ear off about you!"

"...Y-You don't say..." Ren chuckled nervously.

"Yep!" Harry chuckled, placing his bag down and removing his coat. He then handed Stimpy a bottle of champagne, "Here you go! Just like you asked for."

"Thanks, Harry!" Stimpy giggled, leaning up to kiss his cheek, "C'mon, let me show you around!"

Ren watched them go, frozen in place. What was _wrong_ with him? Harry was nice, handsome, and seemed to be treating Stimpy very well. So why was he so upset? Of course any man in his position would have wanted his best friend to find a good partner. But why was he feeling so uncomfortable?

Sighing, he slowly followed after them. He had to endure this, no matter what the cost.

XXX

"Ooh, can I have some more?"

"You sure can, Stimpy!"

"Aw, thank you, Harry!"

"You're welcome!"

"No, you're welcome!"

"Oh no, YOU'RE welcome!"

It was like reading one of his romance novels. But at least with those, he didn't feel like a third wheel. All through dinner, and now afterward, Ren barely got a word in at all. Harry and Stimpy chatted amongst each other, laughing and sharing stories, while also making physical contact.

It made Ren sick to his stomach.

Now the three of them sat in the living room, with the couple _still_ talking, while Ren sat in his easy chair. He had long since given up trying to join in the conversation. Boredom didn't even _begin_ to describe how he was feeling right now. He looked between the two as they yakked on, laughing and giggling like children.

Taking a few breaths, Ren tried to keep his cool. It felt like watching a cheesy soap opera. A _boring_ one.

"Oh, you're such a kidder, Harry! Haha! Oh oh! How about if we skipped across the field, then rolled down the hill, and ran back up?"

' _Seriously, Steempy? We do dat all de time!'_ Ren thought, rolling his eyes.

"Stimpy! We'd be dizzy and falling down all over again!"

' _Thanks, Captain Obveeous. Have a damn cookie.'_

"That's the idea!"

' _No sheet, Sherlock.'_

"Ha! And you call me the kidder?"

' _I was de keeder before you came around, Pretty Boy!'_

"Sure I do!"

"Oh, you're so silly, Stimpy-poo!"

"So are you, Harry-poo!"

Ren cringed and grimaced at those pet names. He sighed heavily, then stood up and headed out of the living room. This was beginning to be too much. What was the point anymore?

"Ren!" Stimpy called out suddenly, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going for a walk," Ren responded, not looking at them.

"Aww, but we were going to put in a movie!" Stimpy pouted.

Ren rolled his eyes, "Really? I couldn't tell."

"Please stay, Ren?" Stimpy asked, pouting a little more.

Looking away, Ren shook his head, "No, I'm good. You two... have fun, I guess."

"Come on, Ren! Please stay?"

"Eet's fine, I just need some air."

"Please?"

That did it. All the more livid, Ren turned on him and snarled, "I said, I'm going for a walk! What part of dat did you not understand?! No means no, you eediot!"

At this, Stimpy's ears drooped and he averted his gaze sadly, "...Sorry, Ren..."

Feeling a stab of guilt, Ren immediately regretted having snapped. He exhaled, about to speak up again. "Steempy, I-"

"That was very rude of you, Ren. He was just making a nice offer to you and you threw it in his face," Harry said sternly, frowning now, "Maybe you should leave. Your behaviour is unnacceptable and you're just being a jerk."

And just like that, the guilt was gone.

Ren snarled and opened the door, glaring at the two, "I deedn't ask your opeenion, Pretty Boy! I'm. Going. For. A. Walk! BYE!"

Without waiting for an answer, he stepped outside and slammed the door behind him.

The anger remained for some time as Ren walked, hands shoved in his pockets, staring down at the sidewalk. He licked along rocks, cans, anything his foot came into contact with. Huffing a little, his body relaxed more as the anger faded. Ren sighed a bit, feeling the stab of guilt return. A little sniffle escaped him, feeling his heart falling to his stomach.

"What's wrong weeth me..." Ren moaned, sighing sadly, "I'm de real eediot here..."

Looking up, he came to see that he was now in front of the town bar. Giving a light shrug, Ren opened the door and stepped inside. It was pretty quiet, much to his surprise, but just what he needed.

Going over to the bar, Ren climbed onto a stool and steadied himself, before taking out a pack of cigarettes. The bartender, Mr. Horse, noticed and gave a light chuckle, coming over and holding out a lighter.

"Thanks," Ren said, holding his cigarette out to be lit. Once it was alight, he placed it into his mouth and drew it in, sighing.

"What can I get you, buddy? I take it you're not just in here for a smoke," Mr. Horse chuckled.

"Scotch, on de rocks," Ren replied, taking a puff.

Mr. Horse nodded and went to pour him a drink, then slid the glass over to him on the bar, "So what's up? Something's troubling you."

Ren looked up, blowing some smoke out of his mouth and then taking the drink, "Teepical. I come into a bar and de barkeep pries eento my buseeness."

"What can I say, comes with the job," Mr. Horse chuckled, "So, what's bothering you?"

Sighing a little, Ren sipped his drink, "My best friend's boyfriend came over today. I got so seeck of dem being all mushy, so I snapped and left."

"What's wrong with your friend's boyfriend?" Mr. Horse asked, cleaning a glass with a towel.

"Dat's just eet! Nothing! He's perfect! Tall, handsome, reech, and nicer dan a damn Hallmark card!" Ren ranted, pounding his fist on the bar, "Steempy is just all over de bastard! And no wonder! He's a perfect goody-two-shoes Pretty Boy! My romance novels has beeger arseholes dan heem!"

Mr. Horse nodded, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, "So you got sick of being a third wheel?"

"Yes!" Ren sighed, taking another sip of his drink, "I wanted some air, so I get up, and Steempy begs me to stay. I tell heem no, he keeps begging, and I couldn't take eet! So I snapped. Perfect Pretty Boy decides to get on hees high horse..." He looked at the bartender and sighed, "No offense."

"None taken," Mr. Horse smiled.

"Anyway, he gets all up and says I'm being a jerk and should just go! Keecked out of my own house! Where does he get off?!" Ren muttered, sipping more of his drink and then puffing his cigarette, "So den I walked around and came here."

"Well, Mr. Hoek, you _were_ being a jerk," Mr. Horse replied, shaking his head.

"I know dat!" Ren said, taking a large gulp his drink and placing it back down. "And I don't know why dees ees bothereeng me! Eet makes no sense!"

Mr. Horse gave him a look, then proceeded to wipe down the bar, "Makes perfect sense to me."

"What do you mean? You know what's going on?" Ren asked with surprise.

"Simple. You're jealous," Mr. Horse said point blank.

Ren balked, wide-eyed, "Jealous?! Why de hell would I be jealous of Steempy?! Sure, his boyfriend is reech and all, but come on! I don't want dat Pretty Boy! I'd go crazy from his eencessant lovey-dovey jabbering!"

Mr. Horse looked at him again, raising an eyebrow, "I didn't mean you're jealous of Stimpy, Mr. Hoek. You're jealous of his boyfriend."

"...What." Ren said, nearly dropping his cigarette.

"Simple. You're in love with Stimpy and you're jealous that some other guy took him away," Mr. Horse said, leaning against the bar and wiping another glass. "You obviously can't handle these feelings, so you lashed out and wanted to get away from it."

It was as if his entire mind was scrambled, his heart raced, and his stomach coiled. No. This couldn't be. But it felt too true. It made too much sense. Ren grabbed his head and groaned, trembling a bit, "No! No! I can't be een love weeth heem! I raised heem, for God's sake!"

"So what? He's a grown cat now, it's not illegal," Mr. Horse said casually, shrugging a bit.

"But eet's creepy! I raised heem like my own son! I can't fall een love weeth my own son!" Ren protested.

Mr. Horse sighed, shaking his head, "Come on, Mr. Hoek, think about it. You took him in, you raised him, and that's great. He's older now, you two are less like father and son, and more like best friends for life. You guys falling in love and being together wouldn't be a bad thing."

Ren blushed darkly and shook his head, "I can't! Eet's shameful to me! I can't do dat to heem!"

"But you still love him," Mr. Horse said.

"No! I love Steempy, but I'm not EEN love weeth heem!" Ren cried.

Mr. Horse looked at him again, raising his eyebrow, "Just who are you trying to convince? Me or you?"

Having no answer to that, Ren looked away a little, "Shut up..."

"I'm just saying," Mr. Horse shrugged, reaching over to gently pat his shoulder, "Look buddy, it's okay. You're in love with your best friend, and you just happen to like men. Nothing wrong with that."

"But I'm a man! I like beer, leefting theengs, and all kinds of things men do!" Ren protested weakly, his hands shaking.

"So... you think being bisexual makes you less of a man?"

"YES!"

"Why?" Mr. Horse looked at him pointedly.

Ren shut his mouth, once again unsure how to answer.

"Well?" Mr. Horse prompted, "I'm waiting."

"I... I just... I don't know! Eet just does!" Ren groaned, laying his head on the bar now.

"Mr. Hoek... You're bisexual, simple as that. I've seen the way you look at girls and other guys too. You can deny it all you want, but that's what it is," Mr. Horse said sternly, but kindly, "It doesn't make you less of a man. Anyone who tells you that doesn't know what they're talking about. Now, as for Stimpy... Well, that's gonna be tough. But what you can do is go home and apologize to him."

Giving a sigh, Ren snuffed out his cigarette and hopped down to the floor. He placed a few dollars onto the bartop, "Fine... I guess I can do dat."

"Atta boy," Mr. Horse smiled, "Take care, Mr. Hoek."

"Yeah, yeah..." Ren muttered, leaving the bar.

XXX

By the time Ren made it back home, having taken the long way, Harry's car was gone. He wasn't sure whether or not to feel relieved. Nonetheless, he went up to the front step and opened the door, stepping inside.

"Steempy, I'm home..." He said in a loud, but listless voice.

Stimpy came out of the kitchen, looking at him with concern, "Hey, Ren... You okay?"

"Hmm?" Ren looked up at him, then averted his gaze, "Yeah, I guess. I'm... I'm sorry, Steempy. I was acteeng like a jerk for no reason..."

Giving a smile, Stimpy came over and hugged him, "It's okay, Ren. I'm sorry, too."

"...Why?" Ren looked at him with confusion. He trembled slightly, but melted in his embrace.

"I shouldn't have tried to force you," Stimpy said, patting his back, "I guess you kind of felt like a third wheel, didn't you?"

Ren blinked, then nodded, "Yeah..."

"That's what I thought," Stimpy patted his shoulder now, pulling away, "Don't worry Ren, I'll make sure that won't happen again!"

Feeling a pang of disappointment from the loss of contact, Ren exhaled and nodded, "Okay. But I'm steell sorry for ruining everytheeng. Can you forgeeve me?"

Chuckling, Stimpy nodded and kissed his cheek, "Sure I can, buddy!"

Giving a tiny smile, Ren nodded and headed for the stairs, "Okay den. I theenk I'll turn in early."

"Go ahead, Ren!" Stimpy said, heading to the kitchen, "Oh, by the way! Harry said he's going to open a branch of his company in Aruba. He asked if I wanted to go live there with him!"

All at once, Ren could feel as if his heart fell to the floor and shattered. He stared at nothing, his body trembling slightly. Tears pooled in his eyes before he could stop them.

"Ren? Did you hear me?"

"...We'll talk about eet later!" Ren shouted.

He dashed up the stairs and hurried to his room, closing the door behind him. The moment he was alone, Ren collapsed to the floor and began to cry. It was all piling down on him now. His sexuality, his feelings, and now the impending idea that Stimpy was going to leave him. Sniffling loudly, he pounded his fist against the carpet, trying to get a hold of himself.

' _Eet's too late... Too late... But eet's true, eesn't it...'_ Ren sniffled, looking up into nothingness. Tears streamed down his face as he leaned back against the door, breathing heavily. ' _I'm een love weeth Steempy...'_

XXX

The dreaded day finally came. Ren had to hold himself back from breaking down. No, he had to be a man. He had to be strong. He had to let Stimpy go. No matter how much it was going to kill him inside.

Stimpy was at the front door, two suitcases at his side, and putting on his hat. He smiled sadly at Ren, giving a shrug, "Well, guess I'm ready."

"Yeah..." Ren looked out the window. Sure enough, the cab pulled up to the curb. "Well, your taxi's here."

"Yep..." Stimpy nodded a bit, "So, I'll write!"

"You better."

"I'll come visit!"

"Sure."

The two looked at each other, unsure of what to do next. Ren averted his gaze, wiping his eyes and sniffling a bit.

"...I'll meess you, pal..." Ren murmured softly.

"Me too, buddy..." Stimpy placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

Looking up at his friend, Ren made the mistake of meeting his eyes. Stimpy's sweet, soulful blue eyes. He trembled a little, realizing what he was about to do. His urge was too strong. It was his last chance to ever do this. This time, without prompt. Feeling his heart pounding, Ren approached his friend and held his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Steempy..." Was all he said before leaning in and kissing him deeply.

Although Stimpy stiffened with surprise for a moment, but then immediately returned it. His arms came around his small body and held him tightly, their lips meshing in a heated kiss. No uncertainty, no clumsiness, nothing like that. Just full-on liplocking. Ren let go of his face and grabbed onto him tightly, leaving no space between them. It was happening. Truly happening. He was kissing Stimpy, pouring every bit of his repressed feelings into it. He had to. This one last time. If only to just leave his best friend with that one assurance.

It felt good. Way too good. It was amazing. Ren wanted to explode. His body was on fire, his entire being felt so alive. Stimpy's lips were incredible. Soft, warm, and tasted like chocolate. Much like their first kiss, except this was far more intense.

But it wasn't enough. Ren traced Stimpy's lips with his tongue, to which Stimpy eagerly obliged. Their tongues met in a heated duel, further deepening the kiss. Warm, kind of stinky, but Ren didn't care. He needed this so much. They both did.

After some time, for what felt like an eternity, they finally pulled back to breathe. It was taking all of Ren's strength not to go for more. But that was it. This was what he was missing all this time. This was what he was denying himself. Denying both of them. They could have had this.

Ren sniffled, pulling back a little and looking at his friend. He didn't even bother stopping himself from crying. "Goodbye, Steempy..."

"Goodbye, buddy..." Stimpy murmured, tears falling down his cheeks. He picked him his suitcases and opened the door. "...I love you, Ren..." He turned away, stepping outside.

Although he wanted to hold it back, he no longer could. Ren sniffled and placed his hand on the doorknob, "I love you too, Steempy."

Not waiting for an answer, he closed the door. Upon doing so, he slid down to the floor and began to sob.


	3. Chapter 3

_~'Cause you know_

 _You know, you know_

 _That I love you_

 _I have loved you all along_

 _And I miss you_

 _Been far away for far too long_

 _I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go_

 _Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore~_

Two whole months. He wasn't sure how he kept track of the time, but that was how long it had been. Two months of loneliness. Two months of regret. Two months of despair. Quite possibly the worst in his entire life.

On this particular evening, he sat at the bar, staring listlessly at his drink. He hadn't even touched his cigarette as it slowly burned in the ashtray. Ren sighed heavily, leaning his head into his hand and swirling the melting ice in the glass. He wanted to sip, but felt no thirst. His stomach growled noisily, but no hunger came to mind.

"Damn, you look like your tail is never gonna wag again, Mr. Hoek," Mr. Horse remarked sympathetically.

"...I don't care," Ren muttered, not quite looking at him.

"You really miss him, don't you?" Mr. Horse patted his shoulder.

Ren sniffled, wiping his nose, "I put keetty leetter all over de house. Just to make it smell like heem."

Mr. Horse shook his head sadly, "You ever hear from him?"

Sighing, Ren nodded, "Yeah. Letters and postcards."

"Have you written him back?"

"..."

"...You haven't, have you."

Ren shook his head.

"Why?"

"What's de point? I don't even know what to say," Ren said, his voice cracking, "'Dear Stupeed, come home right now. Leave your reech boyfriend and come back to me so I can heet you again'? Who de hell am I keeding, anyway? Dat Harry has tons of money and treats heem like a Preencess. He's happy. He has a perfectly good life now. He'll forget all about me."

Once more, Mr. Horse shook his head as he cleaned out a glass, "I sure can't speak for him, but I doubt he'd want to leave you in the dust. You two did spend several years together, it's not exactly easy to forget that."

"Ya theenk?" Ren snorted, finally taking a sip of his drink, "He doesn't need me like I need him. He's got what he needs now."

"You sure about that?" Mr. Horse raised an eyebrow, "He probably misses you."

Fighting back tears, Ren sniffled and sipped his drink again, "I don't know what to beelieve anymore. Up ees down, left ees right, and I'm een love weeth my best friend... Damn eet all!" He slapped his hand against the bartop.

"Easy, Mr. Hoek," Mr. Horse said, patting his shoulder again, "Maybe you should just go see him. Might be a good chance for you guys to get proper closure."

Go see him.

Go see him.

Go see him.

The words echoed in Ren's mind on loop.

Looking him over, Mr. Horse chuckled, "Get outta here, Mr. Hoek."

Although he didn't need permission, Ren hopped off the barstool, "I will! I'm going down to Aruba to tell Steempy everytheeng! Thank you!" He shook Mr. Horse's hoof rapidly before darting out of the bar.

Giving a smile, Mr. Horse looked down at the abandoned drink and shook his head with amusement, "I'll just put that on his tab."

XXX

Several hours and two flights later, Ren finally landed in Santa Cruz. He couldn't believe this was happening, that he was even doing this. But he had to. At this point, seeing Stimpy again was what he needed. All throughout the flights, he couldn't sleep. Coffee kept him wired and wide awake. It was as nervewracking as could be. But nothing was going to stop him.

With only a carry-on bag in hand, Ren fled the airport at an incredible speed. Nothing else mattered, all he wanted was to see his best friend. Managing to hail a taxi, he gave the driver the address (thank heaven for Stimpy's postcards!), and relaxed. A little bit, anyway.

"Wow, going to the home of Harry Reynolds, eh?" The driver chuckled, "He's definitely got one of the nicest places in the city."

Ren grumbled a little, "Just... Just get me dere. I'm een a hurry."

"You feelin' okay, champ?" The driver asked, proceeding to drive away from the airport. "Jet lag?"

"I weesh," Ren sighed, looking away, "I'm just going to veesit my best friend."

"Where'd you come from, anyway?"

"De United States."

"Oooh! You sure came a long way, didn't ya?" The cabbie chuckled, "Your friend must be one lucky fellow!"

Ren looked out the window and sighed sadly, "He is... But I'm de real lucky one."

The drive took quite a while, but they finally pulled up to Harry's home. It was a nicely built Spaniard style home situated not far from the beach. Once more, Ren felt immense envy. But now wasn't the time for that. He got out of the cab, telling the driver to wait for him. He was sure he wouldn't be very long.

Heading up the front walk, Ren reached the front door and rang the doorbell. He waited a few moments, before the door opened. Much to his surprise, it was Stimpy who answered it. The moment Stimpy saw him, his eyes went wide.

"Ren! Is that really you?" Stimpy asked, pushing the door open farther, "Oh my gosh! It is you!" He grinned widely and hugged him, "Aww, I missed you, buddy!"

Ren stiffened slightly, but it wasn't long before he melted and embraced Stimpy back. He smelled a bit musty, but Ren didn't care. It was the same old Stimpy he remembered. How nice it felt to hug him again...

"What are you doing here?" Stimpy asked, pulling back a bit, "I mean, I didn't think you'd come all the way down here!"

Managing to finally find his voice, Ren averted his gaze, "I just wanted to see you."

"Awww, that's so nice of you, Ren!" Stimpy grinned wider, "Well, you should come in!"

Ren shook his head, holding a hand up, "No thanks, I can't."

"But... But why not?" Stimpy's smile faded, "You're here, aren't you? So why don't you come inside? Harry won't mind! He's not even home right now!"

"I can't do eet, Steempy..." Ren said, managing to look at him again, "I just want you to come home!"

Stimpy stared at him with wide eyes, "W-What?"

"You heard me!" Ren cried, grabbing his shoulders, "I can't leeve without you, Steempy! I was being de real eediot all dees time! Just come back home weeth me and we can start over!"

"But... But Ren, I can't just leave..." Stimpy said uneasily.

"Why not?! You left me! You had an easy time doing dat!" Ren exclaimed, shaking now, "What do you want me to do?! Get on my knees and beg?! Fine!" He knelt down, spreading his arms out for emphasis, "Dere! I'm on my knees! Please, Steempy! Don't leave me like dees!"

"Ren! Ren, calm down! You're embarrassing yourself!" Stimpy uttered, taking a step back and sniffling, "I can't just leave like this! I'd break Harry's heart."

Ren sniffled, his eyes filling with tears. He grabed at Stimpy's waist, his hands shaking, "But I need you, Steempy..."

Stimpy's own eyes filled with tears, his expression was of mixed emotions at this point. He hesitated, averted his gaze, and then sighed, "Ren, I can't... I really want to, but I just can't. I'm sorry!"

"But I love you! Please come back weeth me! Please..." Ren pleaded, tears falling down his cheeks.

It was too much. Somehow, he saw this coming, but wasn't the least bit prepared for it. Unable to speak any further, he grabbed at Stimpy and cried into his stomach, sobbing loudly. Giving a sniffle, Stimpy knelt down and embraced him tightly, nuzzling his head.

Sniffling, Ren pulled his head back a bit and whimpered, "Look at me... Beeg, mean Ren... crying like a ba-ha-ha-habyyyyy...! Over dees... Pretty patheteec, huh?"

Giving a sad smile, Stimpy shook his head, "Oh, pshaw... It's okay, Ren. You just go ahead and cry your little eyes out..."

They embraced for some time, crying quietly, accompanied by occasional sniffles. Ren clung tightly to Stimpy's body, longing to remain this way. It wasn't even just the loss of love, it was being without his best friend. To think they'd been together for so long. It truly was impossible to let go. But he had to. Stimpy had made up his mind and there was nothing he could do to change it.

"Steempy...?" Ren sniffled, looking up at him.

"Yeah, Ren?" Stimpy looked back at him, managing a small smile.

"...You steell love me, right?" Ren asked hopefully.

Giving a pat to his shoulder, all Stimpy did was nod, his smile growing slightly. Ren snuggled into his shoulder and sniffled loudly, holding to him one last time.

"I'm sorry I had to break your heart, Ren..." Stimpy murmured, kissing his head and releasing him, "But I promise I'll visit you! And just write to me, okay? It'd make me so happy if you'd send me a letter."

Smiling sadly, Ren wiped his eyes and stood up, "Sure, pal... I can try."

"Atta boy," Stimpy giggled, if a bit sadly, "You sure you won't stick around?"

Ren shook his head, "I have to go. Cab's waiting for me."

"Okay..." Stimpy said with disappointment, but then smiled, "So, uh... take care, buddy."

"Sure..." Ren hid his despair with a smile. He waved and proceeded to walk back toward the taxi. With all his strength, he didn't look back. He couldn't.

The moment Ren got into the taxi, he burst into tears all over again.

XXX

Another day. Another week. Another month. They felt so repetitive, Ren mused that it felt more like the Groundhog Day effect. He awoke this particular morning feeling lethargic. With a loud sigh, he forced himself out of bed, and trudged slowly to the door. Passing by Stimpy's room stung his heart, to which he tried to look away from it.

Going downstairs, he looked all around a messy floor, with all kinds of items strewn about. Ren sighed, waving it off and heading to the kitchen. He glanced at the pile of dishes in the sink, then went to the fridge. Pulling it open, he stared listlessly into it, pulling out an apple. Staring at the apple, Ren sniffled and was about to chuck it away. His stomach growled, so he lowered his hand and took a small bite from it.

Kicking a piece of clothing away from him on the floor, Ren slowly went to the living room. At least he didn't have to worry about work today. It was about the only thing he was able to do with any kind of semblance of life. That was easy. Plastering on a fake mask of contentment was all he was able to do.

He sat on the couch, staring at the TV blankly and exhaling. Ren took another bite of the apple.

"He must be having de time of hees life..." Ren muttered to himself.

He took another bite of the apple.

"Weeth all dat money... A beeg house... On Santa Cruz..."

Another bite.

"Harry's so handsome... He has eet all... And Steempy, too..."

Another bite.

"Oh sure, Mr. Beeg Shot can have who he wants..."

Another bite.

"And he swoops in and takes MY Steempy..."

Another bite.

"Den he takes Steempy to Aruba... Away from me... To have heem... All to heemself... To rub eet een my face..."

Another bite.

"He has money... A beeg house... A great car... And Steempy... What more can he take from me..."

Another bite.

"Dat... leettle..."

Ren squeezed the apple in his hand a little too hard. Letting out a growl, he jumped from from the couch and threw it to the wall.

"HOMEWRECKING BASTARD!" Ren yelled, falling to his knees and holding his head. "Eet's all HEES fault! He took Steempy from me! He came right een and decided de money and house weren't enough! Of course Steempy fell eento it! He's stupeed! He's an eediot! A stupid gulleeble EEDIOT!"

Ren sniffled, then began to cry, burying his face in his hands. His body trembled as he fell to the floor, curling up.

"But he's my eediot... I meess hees keetty leetter... I meess his laugh... Hees smile... Hees stupeed eenventions..." Ren whimpered, sniffling loudly, "I just want my best friend back..."

Sitting up a bit, Ren clasped his hands in prayer, staring up at the ceiling.

"Please, God? Just do me a favour... I'll geeve up de pectoral muscles for now... Just breeng Steempy back to me..."

No response. Ren sighed and leaned against the couch, trying to calm his sobbing.

"So what now? Just... Wait until I die?" Ren whimpered, wiping his nose, "Or does Harry have to die?"

Something in his mind snapped. He perked up slightly, sitting up straighter.

"Wait..." Ren realized, before a big grin broke out onto his face, "Dat's eet... Eef Harry were to just die... Steempy would have no choice but to come back to me... I even bet Harry would leave everytheeng to Steempy... Hees house, hees money, and other assets... So he dies... Steempy comes back to me... And we can leeve de high life..."

Chuckling a bit to himself, Ren stood up, and went toward the kitchen.

"Eet'd be so easy... I know where he leeves..." Ren murmured softly, giving a chuckle, "I could find a way... Maybe I'll poison heem... No, dey'll find de evidence... I could drown heem... Dat'd be hard, but a good idea. Maybe I'll strangle heem... no, too obvious. Maybe I'll take heem into de jungle, beat heem death... Den I can hide de body... Leave no traces... Dey'll theenk he's meessing... And eef dey do find heem... Dey won't suspect a thing... Rich people get dat all de time..."

He gave a light laugh, looking at the butcher block of large knives he had. Ren reached for one, but then hesitated.

"No, dat won't do. I can just use a shovel or some kind of blunt eenstrument... I bet he has tons of dose," Ren mused, then headed back to the living room. He laughed a little, his smile growing, "I'll go veesit, maybe in a few weeks... Tell dem I'm just going to make amends... Den I'll tell Steempy... I want to spend time weeth Harry, just so we can get to know each other. After all, I'm hees best friend! I raised heem! I gotta make sure he'll be fine, right?"

Sitting back on the couch, Ren relaxed all the more and stared up at the ceiling, laying on his back.

"So den, we'll go for a walk, right een de forest... Mm-hmm, we'd make small talk, bond over romance novels... We'll go deeper and deeper... He'll say we should go back. I'll say sure, go ahead, I'll be right behind you. Den he'll walk away... I'll follow him, slowly... I'll keep talking to heem, like normal... Den, when he least expects eet..."

He made a swinging motion, laughing maniacally.

"I'll keell heem! I'll beat heem down until he's dead!" Ren laughed, sitting up and pounding at the couch, "And den he'll be dead! Steempy will be mine and we can have de good life! Eet's perfect! Oh ho ho, I hope you're ready, Harry! Because your days are numbered! I'm gonna-"

A painful throbbing pounded at his head, causing Ren to clutch his skull and fall over a little. His body trembled violently, more tears gathered and he began to sob.

"What de hell am I even theenking?! What's wrong weeth me?! I can't do dat!" Ren cried, looking up to the ceiling, "Damn eet all..." He curled up into a ball again, sniffling. "I'm sorry, Steempy... Eet's no wonder you're weeth heem... I waited too long, he geeves you a better life dan I can... Just... Just be happy. But don't forget about me..."

XXX

For what felt like an eternity, Ren lay there, staring at nothing. He didn't move until he heard a knocking at the door. Letting out a snort, Ren sat up and rubbed his eyes. At least it would be a good distraction, however brief.

Upon reaching the door, he unlocked and opened it. Just before he could speak up, his eyes went wide.

No. It couldn't be.

Ren rubbed his eyes, then looked again, coming to find he wasn't seeing things.

Standing on the doorstep with a big smile on his face was Stimpy.

"...Pal?" Ren managed to speak up, unable to find any words.

"Buddy..." Stimpy said, grinning wider.

They stared at one another for a few moments, at a loss for words.

"PAL!"

"BUDDY!"

Without further ado, they embraced each other tightly and twirled around. They laughed and held to each other, joyously dancing around the room. It felt amazing! So wonderful! Ren felt like he hadn't laughed in his entire life, now he was all over again! All of the despair lifted, replaced by immense joy and so much love. While some questions buzzed in his mind, he pushed them aside for now. He just wanted to enjoy feeling Stimpy in his arms again!

After a couple minutes of this, Stimpy gently let Ren down and just simpy hugged him.

"Steempy! You came back...!" Ren exclaimed, sniffling a little.

"Of course I did, Ren!" Stimpy beamed, kissing his face.

"H-Hey! Come on, dat teeckles!" Ren giggled, playfully pulling away. He blinked, realizing what this meant, "Wait, what about Harry?"

"Well..." Stimpy let him go, looking a bit sheepish, "I tried so hard to just move on and be happy. But I just wasn't. I felt pretty lonely. I was in denial for ages about it, before last night."

Ren looked at him with confusion, "What do you mean?"

"Last night, Harry and I were gonna, you know..." Stimpy made a few hand gestures, "Well, it didn't work out."

"Why not?"

"All I kept thinking about was you, Ren. I even said your name instead of his," Stimpy admitted, sighing a bit. "Before I knew it, I was on the edge of the bed crying my eyes out, and telling him I couldn't do it anymore. Because my heart belongs to you! Heh... Harry said he figured it out ever since I moved in with him. He knew I wasn't happy."

"Oh..." Ren rubbed his arm a little bit, finding himself speechless all over again. He took a breath, looking away, "I'm sorry, Steempy."

"It's okay." Stimpy smiled, patting his shoulder, "I guess really am an idiot, aren't I?"

Ren managed to smile, "Yes you are, Steempy. But you're my eediot."

"So... you'll take me back?" Stimpy asked hopefully, grinning at him.

"...Eef you haven't feegured eet out by now, you're an even beeger eediot dan I thought," Ren said dryly, giving him a look.

"Oh, joy!" Stimpy laughed, picking him up all over again and twirling them around. He stopped after a few moments and practically squished Ren against him, "I love you, Ren! And I'm never leaving you again!"

"Oof! Steempy! You're crusheeng me!" Ren uttered, trying to pull away. He managed to loosen his friend's grip a bit. Despite the mild discomfort from the force, he smiled brightly and hugged him, "I love you too, buddy."

"So, you don't even care that I'm practically your son?"

"Steempy, I almost lost you forever because of dat. No way, I don't care anymore!" Ren smiled brightly, kissing his nose.

"Can we be boyfriends, now?" Stimpy giggled.

"Yes we can, Steempy."

"Joy! Will we go on dates?"

"Dat's what couples do, don't dey?"

"Ooh! Can we hold hands?"

"Not een publeec."

"Awww... Can we kiss?"

"Duh, of course we can."

"Even in public?!"

"No."

"...Can we sleep in the same bed?"

Ren blinked, looking at him with surprise, "You want to sleep een de same bed?"

"Yeah!" Stimpy nodded, giving a smile, "Remember when I was still a kid, and you let me sleep in bed with you whenever I was scared?"

"Of course. You had nightmares almost every night," Ren recalled with a shrug.

Stimpy giggled, giving a coy smile, "Actually, Ren... I lied all those times. I just said I did because I wanted to sleep in bed with you and cuddle."

Staring at him, Ren rolled his eyes and bopped his nose, "I should have feegured. Anytheeng _else_ I should know?"

"I was the one who left those chocolates under your pillow every Valentine's Day!"

"I know. I was only pretending to beelieve you about de Valentine Fairy."

"I drew us getting married! A lot of times!"

Ren shrugged, rolling his eyes good-naturedly, "Dere's notheeng wrong with dat."

"I sometimes took your shirts and slept with them at night!" Stimpy said with a giggle.

"So dat's why dey kept going meessing. What else?"

"I played with myself thinking of you!"

"Dat's hardly a bad theeng, Steempy. Eet's natural."

Stimpy then turned away, looking guilty, "Actually, Ren... there is one thing I did. You remember that one cat you were dating, Giselle?"

"Yes, dat was a few years ago. She stood me up on our last date," Ren recalled. He looked at Stimpy, then frowned, "Wait... what deed you do, Steempy?"

"Well... The reason she stood you up was because I told her we were married," Stimpy confessed.

"WHAT?!" Ren exclaimed, his jaw dropping, "S-Steempy! Why deed you do dat?! Dat's not like you!"

"I know, I'm sorry!" Stimpy held his hands up, "I didn't like her! She was mean to me!"

"Mean to you?! And dat was some kind of reason to trick her eento breaking eet off weeth me?!" Ren advanced on him, huffing a little, "You should have told me, you eediot!"

Stimpy sniffled, shaking his head, "I tried to! You didn't believe me! She used to act all sweet and nice when you were around! But whenever she was alone with me, she acted like a meanie! I was scared of her, Ren!"

"...Steempy..." Ren uttered, shaking his head and calming down.

"I tried to tell you, but you always said that I was just seeing things," Stimpy explained, "I did it because I was scared of her, jealous of her, and I was angry at you. It was wrong of me and I'm sorry."

Ren looked at him, seeing the sadness and guilt in Stimpy's eyes. He sighed again, giving him a little pat on the shoulder, "Eet's okay. Maybe I should have leestened to you. You may be stupeed, but I know you don't just lie to me. I guess I was blinded by her beauty."

"Maybe," Stimpy sighed, looking a little relieved, "But I'm still sorry, Ren. I lied to somebody and I still cost you a girlfriend. I shouldn't have done that!"

"I know I know, but dere's notheeng we can do about eet now!" Ren stated in a stern tone. He looked at Stimpy again, then patted his head, "Let's just take dees one step at a time, okay?"

Stimpy looked at him, then gave a smile, "Okay, Ren. You'll still be with me?"

" _Yes_ , eediot," Ren rolled his eyes, "Now go make some deenner. I'm starving."

Smiling brightly, Stimpy nodded, "Joy! I'll get right on it!" He kissed Ren's cheek and then scrurried off into the kitchen.

Rubbing his cheek, Ren smiled fondly after him and sighed, "Eet's so good to have you back, Steempy..."

XXX

Later that evening, after having dinner and watching TV, the two finally went to bed. It was going to be so odd, actually sleeping in the same bed together for the first time in many years. They went into the bathroom, getting cleaned up and brushing their teeth. All the while stealing glances at each other through the mirror.

Finally, they went into Ren's bedroom, which had the bigger bed. Stimpy took a few steps back from the bed, making a gesture over to it and smiling toward Ren.

"What are you doing, Steempy?" Ren asked, looking at him with confusion.

"It's your bed, Ren. You can go first," Stimpy smiled.

Ren blinked, then shrugged before climbing onto the bed, "Eet's a bed, Steempy. We don't really have to take turns."

"I'm just being polite," Stimpy giggled. He went to the other side of the bed and got in as well, making himself comfortable, "Uh, Ren?"

"Yes?" Ren looked over at him as he settled under the covers.

"Can I... cuddle with you?" Stimpy asked hopefully, giving a smile.

A wave of confliction ran through Ren's mind at that. On the one hand, he'd wanted to cuddle for a long time. But on the other hand, he also didn't want to end up getting _too_ excited by it. Their relationship was just starting and he didn't want to move _too_ fast. Nonetheless, looking at Stimpy's pleading eyes wasn't helping.

"...Okay, we can cuddle," Ren conceded.

Stimpy grinned widely, "Joy!" He scooted closer, bringing his arms around Ren's smaller body. With a dreamy sigh, he nuzzled into Ren's shoulder, "Oh Ren... I've wanted to do this for years!"

"You don't say..." Ren blushed darkly, feeling a little odd. Yet, it felt so nice. Warmer than he'd ever felt. He could vaguely recall doing this when Stimpy was younger, but it definitely didn't feel the same. Exhaling, he returned the embrace and held closer to his companion.

Giggling a little, Stimpy reached up and gently scratched behind Ren's ear. The little dog stiffened with surprise, before mewling in pleasure and relaxing.

"Welcome back, Steempy..." Ren murmured.

"It's great to be back, Ren!" Stimpy proceeded to smother his face with kisses, giggling.

"S-Steempy! Stop eet!" Ren squirmed, but couldn't help giggling.

"I don't think so!" Stimpy grinned, not letting up his affectionate attack, "You're mine now, and I'm taking full advantage!"

"Steempyyyyyy!" Ren whined, squirming and laughing, "I can't take eet! Stop eet!"

"What's the magic word?" Stimpy teased, smirking.

"Oh, come on!"

"I'm waiting~"

"Fine! Please stop!" Ren pouted.

Giggling, Stimpy kissed his nose and then relented, "Okay, pal."

Sighing with relief, Ren took a few breaths and relaxed his body a little more. Then, he got an idea. A smirk overcame his features as he lifted his head back a bit. "Oh Steempyyyy~"

"Ye-es?" Stimpy grinned at him.

In a quick leap, Ren pounced and pinned Stimpy down to the bed, straddling his stomach. A predatory smirk spread across his features, especially with the way Stimpy was looking up at him. His eyes were wide, but he was grinning happily.

"So, you want keesses, do you?" Ren chuckled, licking his lips.

"Yes," Stimpy said cutely, batting his eyelashes.

"Den close your eyes and poocker up," Ren drawled, poking his nose. He chuckled a little, winking at him.

"Oh joy!" Stimpy obliged, eagerly puckering his lips.

Making sure they were closed, Ren giggled and then leaned in, touching his lips to Stimpy's in a light kiss. But just as Stimpy opened his eyes, Ren pounced and kissed him deeply. A happy mewl sounded from Stimpy as his arms came around Ren's form. He kissed back fervently, holding their bodies closer together. Their tongues met moments later, dueling heatedly for dominance. Finally, they could be intimate and enjoy it. No worries, no inevitable separation, no denial, nothing. Just love.

Pulling back a little, Ren chuckled at how flushed Stimpy's face was. He poked his nose again, giving a smile, "No way are you going to have your own room again."

"Wouldn't have it any other way," Stimpy purred, giggling.

"And remember, I'm de pitcher, you're de catcher," Ren winked at him, licking his lips.

Stimpy blinked, "What does that have to do with this, Ren?"

"Oh, you'll find out..." Ren smirked.

After plenty of cuddles and kisses, the two finally went to sleep. It was one of the best nights of sleep that either of them had in a long time. Ren knew that things were going to change, but hopefully for the better. It was astounding how they'd started off life together in one way, as like a father and son. Now, with Stimpy as a full grown adult, they were lovers. Ren still had to wrap his mind around that, but at least he could finally accept it. This was where he wanted to be.

In a strange way, they practically were in a relationship ever since Stimpy had been old enough. They lived very much like a husband and wife, acted like it, and were just steps short of it being complete. Now they could. Ren was all too happy to finally embrace it.

In the privacy of their own home, of course.


	4. Bonus

**This bonus takes place before the end of part three, when Stimpy is in Aruba with Harry. :D**

* * *

"Hey Stimpy, I'm back!"

"Hello!" Stimpy poked his head out of the kitchen, grinning as Harry came into the house, "Did ya have a good day?"

Harry nodded as he kicked off his shoes and put down his briefcase, "Sure did! The construction at the new place is going pretty good! I'm going to help out a bit with that tomorrow, actually."

"How nice of you!" Stimpy giggled, coming out and giving him a hug, "Are you excited for it?"

"Can't say I'm not!" Harry patted his head and giggled, "So, what's for dinner? It sure smells good in here!"

"Oh, nothing!" Stimpy waved his hand and pulled away, "Just some stir-fry goodness with everything!"

Harry laughed and took off his coat to hang it up, "Is that so? Sounds good to me, cutie pie. How's about I help you set the table?"

Stimpy nodded, slightly nervously, and looked at the front door for a brief second. He smiled then, hiding such an act, "Go ahead! I'll be right there."

"Great!" Harry patted his head again and went to the kitchen.

The moment he was gone, Stimpy looked at the front door again and felt his smile droop. Earlier that day had been an immense emotional roller coaster. The moment that Ren showed up, after having been away for two months now. He never thought he'd see him like this, having come all the way from the states just to see him. To plead for him to return home.

Stimpy exhaled, trying to keep his sadness in check and just focus. He put on a smile, then returned to the kitchen to help Harry with setting the table.

"So, what were you up to today?" Harry asked with a smile.

' _Oh, I don't know! My best friend in the whole world, who I have loved for pretty much my entire life, came all the way from home just to see me and beg for me to come back. I wanted to go so much, but I couldn't because I didn't want to hurt you.'_ Stimpy thought. He looked down for a moment, faking that he was deciding where to put a fork, "Oh, nothing special! I cleaned up and worked in the garden, all that good stuff!"

"That's good, gardening is pretty nice," Harry said with a chuckle.

"It's a joy!" Stimpy laughed a bit. He twitched slightly and straightened up, "I had a good day too, pal!"

"Pal?" Harry tilted his head with confusion, "Huh, I don't think you've ever called me that before!"

Blinking, Stimpy blushed in embarrassment as he realized what he'd said, "Heh heh, oops! You know what they say, old breaks are hard to habit!"

Harry laughed heartily, shaking his head, "You silly! It's old habits are hard to break!"

For a moment, Stimpy couldn't help feeling a bit dumbfounded. He waved it off and chuckled a bit, "Oops! Slip of the tongue! I guess that makes me an idiot, huh? Huh?" He nudged Harry lightly.

"Why would it make you an idiot? It happens to the best of us!" Harry chuckled, "One time, I was talking to a coworker, and I said to her, 'My grand canyon went to the sister last year'! Can you believe it? One simple little sentence and it makes no sense!"

A strange little feeling gnawed at Stimpy's stomach, but he smiled and laughed anyway, "That's pretty funny! Daaaah!" He crossed his eyes and stuck his tongue out.

"I know, right? It's comedy gold!" Harry patted his head and gestured to the stove, "Shall we serve it up?"

"Way ahead of you!" Stimpy skipped over to the stove, giggling to himself. Unseen to Harry, his smile faded. How had this happened? Upon coming to Aruba, he'd felt sad, but fairly content. The sadness was still there, but now he felt strange. Like there was something seriously wrong with all of this.

' _That's kinda weird. When Ren took me in, I adapted easily. Like it was second nature to me! It's been two months since I've been here and I still don't remember where the bathroom is. Heh heh, guess I really am stupid, huh? ...Man, I can't believe how much I missed being called an idiot.'_

Managing to push all of that out of his mind for now, Stimpy helped Harry bring the food to the table and they sat down to eat. They tended to have pretty quiet meals together, which was pretty nice. It just sometimes left Stimpy wondering what they could say. Nothing ever seemed to come to mind.

Stimpy sighed, quietly eating at his food. He stared down at it listlessly, poking his fork at it from time to time. ' _Ren and I didn't always like the same things... But at least he always had something to talk about, even if he knew I wouldn't understand sometimes. Or hey, I'd speak up and he'd actually respond... I know he likes small talk, that can be nice... He enjoys candlelit dinners, it's all quiet and romantic... Aww, and he'd always smile at me sometimes when he thinks I'm not looking... Hee, I miss his smile. He always looks so cute, even if he denies it... Heh heh, Ren's too cute, trying to be all manly. Sure he is, he's always manly. But he can be cute if he wants to be...'_

"Stimpy? Could you pass me the salt, please?"

Nodding, Stimpy absent-mindedly handed him the salt, "Sure thing, Ren. Anything for you!"

Harry stared at him for a moment or two, taking the salt, "Um, Stimpy? I'm Harry."

"Huh?" Stimpy snapped out of his trance, then blushed as he sunk lower in his seat, "...Did I just call you Ren again?"

"Yeah, you did," Harry sweatdropped. He gave a light laugh, waving it off, "It's okay though! I understand it's tough to get used to living away from someone. For the longest time, I called my roommate 'mom' when I first moved out on my own!"

Stimpy cracked a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. He giggled a little and quietly went back to eating.

"You miss him, huh?" Harry said sympathetically, patting his hand.

"Yeah," Stimpy admitted, chuckling lightly.

"Hey, I understand. He did raise you and was a big part of your life, wasn't he? It's not that easy to forget someone like that," Harry smiled, "I'm amazed you put up with him."

Stimpy sighed a bit, looking down at his plate, "It's not always easy, but, hey. It's worth it in the end."

"You're a saint, Stimpy," Harry quipped, "But hey, you know you can see him anytime you want!"

"I sure can," Stimpy managed to smile. ' _If I can get past knowing I broke his heart...'_

XXXX

"Oh joy! I finally got it!" Stimpy laughed to himself as he entered the house. He closed the door behind him and took off his hat, "Hey, Ren! Come and see what I bought! You won't believe it!"

No response. All at once, Stimpy deflated as he came back to reality. He stared at the new book in his hand. It was one of the biggest romance novels released this year. Both he and Ren had been excited to read it, which was a pretty interesting feeling. Stimpy sighed, hugging the book a bit closely to his chest while making his way to the living room.

"Maybe I should watch TV! That always gets my mind off things!" Stimpy managed a smile. He chuckled a little, taking the remote and switching it on.

"Oh, my darling! My cucaracha! I weell keess your crusted eyes until dawn!"

Stimpy grimaced a little at the man's accent, so he changed the channel.

"You idiot! That was the phone bill!"

He sighed and changed the channel again.

"Come back to me! I miss you!"

Change.

"Are you missing something from your past? Then call 1-888-"

Change.

"Another day without you with me is a like blade that cuts right through me-"

Change.

"What is it, man?!"

Change.

"We belong together!"

Change.

"I want you back!"

Change.

"Duck Tales, woohoo!"

Sighing a little, Stimpy turned off the television and leaned back on the couch. So many feelings, so many thoughts were running through his mind. He then looked at the phone, feeling the urge get a little too strong. Should he?

His hand was already grabbing the phone and then dialing before he could stop himself. Stimpy couldn't believe it, but wasn't about to stop himself. Whatever he did, he _had_ to hear his voice. Just for a moment.

"Hello...?" Came Ren's voice from the other line. He sounded tired, which admittedly worried Stimpy. But he probably just came home from work.

"Uh, hi there, Ren..." Stimpy managed, feeling a jump in his heart.

There was silence for a moment or two. Ren breathed heavily and spoke up, "Steempy?"

"Yeah, it's me! Heh heh, just uh, thought I'd call you!" Stimpy laughed nervously.

"Why?" Ren asked, sounding confused.

"You're still my best pal! And, uh... hey, could you, maybe... I don't know, call me an idiot?"

Once more, Ren was silent for a few moments. "...Why?"

"Because I am? It's a fact? Heh heh, you know me! I'm stupid!" Stimpy laughed. "Daaaaaaah!"

There was a light snicker on the other end, followed by a sigh, "I don't know what's gotten eento you, but okay, fine. You're an eediot. De beegest eediot I know."

Stimpy sighed dreamily, the familiar warmth returning to his body. "Aw Ren... I seriously missed you calling me that."

"Yeah yeah, sure..." Ren muttered, sounding a little disgruntled.

"Uh... oh no! I'm holding a plate and I dropped it!" Stimpy said dramatically, then laughed, "Oops! I'm so clumsy!"

"...Steempy, are you feeling okay?" Ren said, sounding concerned, "Dees eesn't like you."

"What do you mean, Ren? I'm always being clumsy!" Stimpy laughed nervously.

"Yes, but you don't do eet on purpose or to get a reaction out of me."

Stimpy blinked, realizing what this meant. He sweat a little bit, feeling nervousness gnawing at his gut. "Heh heh... Sorry about that, Ren! Guess I'm just feeling a little under the weather!"

On the other line, Ren sighed a little, "Ees dere anything else?"

"I..." Stimpy sighed, feeling his gut seize. What else could he say? There was nothing more he could even do. He still loved Ren, he was pretty sure he always would. But there was nothing he could do about it. Just like before. "I miss you, buddy."

"...I meess you too, Steempy," Ren admitted, sounding defeated, "Eet's not de same weethout you."

"I'm sure you'll... find a nice girl someday," Stimpy said uneasily, giving a nervous chuckle. Anything to alleviate the tension, "She'll be beautiful, fun, full of life, smart, sweet, and will love you every day!"

Once more, Ren went silent, but he was making some breathy noises on the other end. Stimpy sighed in relief, glad to see that his friend seemed to at least feel good about something. However, the sounds became increasingly morrose. Stimpy felt his heart fall to his stomach, his gut seizing once again.

"Damn eet, Steempy..." Ren mumbled, sounding like he was crying, "Dere eesn't a woman out there who could replace you!"

"...What?" Stimpy stared at the phone, dumbfounded.

Ren didn't respond. He just sniffled and then hung up. Even with the dial tone sounding, all Stimpy could do was stare at the phone, feeling tears in his eyes. He could not have heard that. But somehow he did. This wasn't helping at all. If anything, it just added more to his feelings.

Sniffling, Stimpy replaced the phone back on its cradle and fell back on the couch. All he wanted to do was crawl under a hole and not emerge until this was all over. Until he could stop breaking Ren's heart anymore than it was. Until he had no risk of breaking Harry's heart.

Stimpy sighed sadly, grabbing a throw pillow and hugging it to himself.

"Hello, boys and girls! This is your old pal Stinky Wizzleteats!" Came a voice from the television.

Perking up, Stimpy grinned widely, "Oh, joy! I'll be sad later, this is my song!"

XXXX

Walking around Santa Cruz was pretty nice, especially on a beautiful day like this. Stimpy sometimes hopped about, carrying a basket on his arm and donning a large sunhat. He was on his way to the market, intent on picking up some fruits and vegetables.

"Gosh, what a perfect day this is!" Stimpy said to himself, breathing in the fresh air, "It doesn't get any better than this!"

Passing by a store, he glanced to his left for a moment, and then snapped his gaze right back. Walking by him was a chihuahua. But it couldn't be. Could it? Stimpy felt his heart race, to which he turned around and gently touched the chihuahua's shoulder.

"R-Ren?"

The dog turned around, looking at him with mild confusion. Much to Stimpy's dismay, or relief, it wasn't Ren at all. It was a female, who just happened to look like him a bit.

"Oh, sorry! I thought you were someone else," Stimpy said sheepishly, withdrawing his hand, "Uh, carry on, ma'am!"

She looked at him with concern, but then gave a smile, "No problem. Have a nice day," she waved and then continued walking off.

Stimpy felt his mood drop a bit, but he managed to keep himself walking. Why oh why did this have to get to him still? He still loved Ren, that was for sure, but why did it have to get in the way? He was with Harry now, in a new place, and he was happy. Happy as can be!

' _So why do I feel so sad? Why do I always feel like I see Ren everywhere I look? Am I losing it?'_ Stimpy thought, biting his lip. ' _Then again, he must be having the time of his life. He's probably happier than ever. Maybe he's... found a girl.'_

The idea of that made his stomach churn. Sure, in the past he admittedly got jealous of Ren's girlfriends, but he'd always tried to hold off on it. But now, all he felt was dread. What right did he have to feel that? He sighed sadly, trudging along the sidewalk and trying to keep his head up high.

' _Come on, I gotta be happy! My life's great! Totally great! Of course I should be happy! Who wouldn't be?'_

As Stimpy came to the market, he took a few breaths to lighten his mood and managed to smile. No need to worry other customers or the vendors, right?

XXXX

"Okay... here we go..." Stimpy crept up to the front door, then gave a knock. He adjusted his cat costume and giggled, trying to stifle himself.

The door opened, with a surprised-looking Harry looking down at him, "Stimpy?"

"Noooo! It's the cat!" Stimpy giggled, "You better go get him!"

Harry blinked, confused, "But, why? I don't understand."

"Oh, you know! You're a dog, I'm a cat, so... you chase me!" Stimpy grinned, turning around now and waving his fake tail, "So come on! Chase me!"

"Stimpy..." Harry chuckled, shaking his head, "You're being silly. Just because I'm a dog doesn't mean I'm going to chase cats!" Come on, get inside and take that off. You don't need me to chase you to have fun!"

Stimpy pouted a little, going into the house, "Okay..." ' _Ren would've chased me... or at least he would've bitten down on my tail...'_

"Are you feeling okay?" Harry asked in concern, closing the door behind them, "You've been acting a little... distant the past few days."

"Huh? Oh, yeah! I feel great!" Stimpy grinned, removing the cat suit, "I guess I'm just a bit restless, that's all!"

"Aww, that's understandable," Harry patted his head, "You can go for a walk, if you'd like. We can go together!"

Stimpy gave a nod, keeping his smile as best he could, "Joy! Let's go, then!"

Off they went, going around the neighbourhood and toward town. Like usual, their walks were quiet and pretty peaceful. They even held hands, which Stimpy was pretty glad for.

' _Ren never let me hold his hand... Heh, then I'd try to, he'd slap it away, and we'd do that song and dance for a while! Then he'd just give up and let me hold it...'_ Stimpy thought nostalgically, giggling. ' _I bet he'd want to keep PDA on the down-low, but it'd be cute to try to break it!'_

"Stimpy?" Harry spoke up, breaking his train of thought, "You okay?"

Looking up at him, Stimpy laughed sheepishly, "Oh, yeah! Totally! I was just thinking of something stupid!"

"Ah, okay," Harry chuckled, "I know what you mean."

"Yep!" Stimpy managed to grin. ' _Why do I keep thinking about Ren like that? It's not like the old days when I was hoping he'd give me a chance! I'm with Harry now! I should be thinking about his muscles, his voice, how good he is at kissing, how... Oh wow, I remember when Ren kissed me before I left! It was so amazing! Like, wow! I thought I was going to explode! He's a great kisser!'_

"Hey, Stimpy?" Harry spoke up again, "Can I ask you a personal question?"

Trying to push his thoughts aside, Stimpy put on a grin as best he could, "Oh, sure! Go ahead!"

"Okay, and I'm sorry if it's too much. I just wanted to know... Were you and Ren seeing each other before you and I started to date?" Harry asked.

Feeling his cheeks turn pink, Stimpy exhaled and shook his head, "No..."

"No? Oh, that's surprising."

"It is?"

"Yeah," Harry gave a chuckle, "I mean, just the way you always talked about him, the way you two are around one another, and also, the way you two look at each other. I think anybody would think you two were a couple!"

Stimpy blushed at the thought, unable to help wondering if that's what they did come off as. He chuckled a little, "Well, uh, I had a crush on him since I was about twelve, so, yeah!"

"Really?" Harry said, then laughed, "That's pretty cute. I guess I can see why, he did take you in and raise you."

"He did," Stimpy murmured, smiling more, "Sure, he could be mean sometimes and calls me names, but I know he cares about me! But no, we weren't! He was always off with other girls, and I... I don't know, guess I was just seeing where life was going to take me!"

Harry nodded, reaching over to pat his head, "Now look at you. We're together now, and it's great, isn't it?"

"It's a joy!" Stimpy smiled, but it felt strained, "I'm real happy!" ' _Yeah, of course I'm happy! I've got it great! I should be happy! If I were sad, I'd be ungrateful and an idiot! So I'm happy! Happy happy joy joy!'_

As they walked along, Stimpy's gaze shifted down to the sidewalk. He could feel his smile fade, while his thoughts weighed heavily on his mind. His stomach churned and coiled uncomfortably, but not from hunger.

' _I'm happy... Happy... Happy happy deliriously happy...'_

XXXX

"So come on, Stimpy... We're almost there..."

Stimpy giggled as they followed the trail of rose petals along the floor, "Wow Harry, I can't wait to see the surprise!"

Harry chuckled, then opened their bedroom door, "Well, here we are."

Inside the bedroom, all kinds of rose petals were on the floor and the bed. There were candles lit on safe surfaces of the room, very low lighting overall, and some soft jazz music playing.

"Wow, what's all this?" Stimpy asked, looking around the room, "It's too early for bedtime!"

"We're not going to bed," Harry laughed, gently ushering him forward, "Tonight... We're going to take our love to the next level."

Stimpy blinked, then blushed a bit, "Wow, really? We are?"

"Yes," Harry chuckled, getting onto the bed and proceeding to remove his clothes, "I think it's time, don't you?"

"Oh, joy!" Stimpy grinned, climbing onto the bed as well.

It was getting very heated, that much Stimpy could tell. He could feel every touch, every kiss that they shared, and felt his body responding in kind. It did feel very pleasant and arousing, but something wasn't quite right. Stimpy wasn't sure what it was, but figured it was because this was his first time. Of course it would be awkward and feel weird, right?

He relaxed himself, trying all he could to respond to Harry's ministrations and touches. Stimpy closed his eyes, letting the moment take over and just give in to the feeling. His mind wandered, at least before he could feel a light nibble on his neck. It made him giggle, while purring pleasurably.

" _You like dat, don't you?_ " Ren's face appeared in his line of vision. He smirked at him in a sensual way, his eyes gleaming with passion.

"Yeah, I do..." Stimpy murmured, gazing up at him with wonder, "You feel really good, Ren..."

" _Oh, den I'll make you feel even better, eediot..._ " Ren purred, stroking a hand down his belly. He licked his lips suggestively, " _I'm going to make you beg for eet like a Catholeec girl on prom night, Steempy..."_

Stimpy sighed softly and relaxed his body all the more, "Oh, Ren... Give it to me... I've wanted this for years...!"

There was a pause in Ren's movements, but eventually they picked back up again. Stimpy moaned softly as he felt his hands go lower and lower. Reaching up, he brought his companion closer and kissed him deeply, pouring all his love into it. Ren kissed him back, but there was something very odd in the way he was kissing. In fact, this whole thing felt very strange.

Ren pulled away after a few moments, looking down at him with an odd expression, " _Tell me, Steempy... Do you love me?_ "

"Yes, I do..." Stimpy murmured, opening his eyes now, "I love you so much, Ren..."

"Stimpy?"

Upon hearing Harry's voice, Stimpy's eyes shot open and focused. Harry was above him, looking a mix of concerned and a little disappointed. He sat up now, hesitant, and then helped Stimpy sit up too.

"Yeah, Harry? What's wrong?" Stimpy managed to ask. Had he really gotten so lost in his fantasies?

"Stimpy... you just called me Ren again..." Harry said uneasily.

Feeling guilt gnaw his gut, Stimpy recoiled a little, "I-I did?! I said that out loud?"

Harry glanced at him, then nodded slowly. "You did. You kept calling me Ren."

Feeling as if an entire mountain was collapsing, Stimpy trembled a little. He tried to move, to straighten up, but felt weak. After a few moments, he sat on the edge of the bed, to which the floodgates opened. Burying his face in his hands, Stimpy sobbed loudly, sniffling and whimpering. He could then feel Harry's hand touching his shoulder, squeezing comfortingly.

"Stimpy... it's okay, I can handle the truth," Harry said kindly.

Sniffling, Stimpy cried all the more, but tried to speak, "I'm sorry, Harry...! I can't do this, I can't! I didn't want to break your heart, but I..."

"Yes?"

"I... I love Ren!" Stimpy wailed in shame, lowering his hands now, "I miss him and I want to be with him again! I broke his heart and I feel like an idiot! All this time I was trying not to break your heart, but all I did was break his heart! After all he's done for me..."

Harry was silent for a few moments, but kept squeezing his shoulder. He sighed then, even giving a chuckle, "You know what, I knew it."

Amidst his despair, Stimpy managed to look at him with confusion, "Knew... Knew what?"

"I knew you weren't happy, Stimpy. I could tell," Harry murmured, shaking his head, "You were always happier back before we moved here. The only times you were actually happy were when you talked about Ren... I had a feeling you still loved him, I just... knew I had to let you figure that out for yourself."

"H-Harry, I... I'm sorry..." Stimpy whimpered, looking down in shame, "I'm the worst..."

"Stimpy, no... It's okay," Harry assured him with a smile, "I have a spine, I've been through worse. Even I was hoping it would work, but I had a feeling it wouldn't. I understand why you tried to stick it out and give me a chance, which I do appreciate. But I think it's time you stopped lying to yourself."

Stimpy sighed sadly, sobbing softly and hugging himself. He trembled, his nose clogged up, and more tears fell. "But I lead you on! I practically lied to you!"

"...Yeah, admittedly," Harry sighed, "I kind of wish you came to terms with that earlier. It would have saved us both a lot of heartache. But that doesn't matter now. You need to go back to him, you need to work things out."

"...I just hope he'll take me back..." Stimpy murmured, staring off out the window. "He said... He said he loved me."

"Then that's all you need," Harry nodded, "I'm willing to bet he still loves you. So go for it, Stimpy. Get a good night's sleep, I'll book you the earliest flight home."

Stimpy sniffled, wiping his eyes, "I don't deserve your forgiveness, Harry."

"Of course you do," Harry stood up, giving him a smile.

"How can I? I broke your heart!"

"Maybe, but like I said, I'll be fine. I just want you to be happy, Stimpy. And I know that's not something I can give you," Harry said as he headed to the door, "You just relax, okay?"

Stimpy smiled sadly as he watched Harry leave the room, and then looked back down at the floor. He still felt bad, he didn't want it to end this way. But it had to. While he had the freedom to go back to his true love, he wished he didn't have to hurt anybody to do it. Sighing a little, he lay back on the bed and curled up, staring at the wall.

"I'm coming back, Ren... I just hope you'll let me," Stimpy murmured softly.


End file.
